


Something More Than in My Mind

by PotatoButt



Category: Free!
Genre: Finding true love, In the beginning it's rinharu but it doesn't last forever because that's my notp, M/M, Sexual Content, Some angst, boys being dorks, sexual content gets more explicit in later chapters, some really sweet moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-19
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-09 13:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1984881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotatoButt/pseuds/PotatoButt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nitori Aiichiro is hopelessly in love with his roommate and best friend, Matsuoka Rin. Unfortunately, Rin is dating Haru, which torments Nitori day in and day out. What he doesn't know is that his pain will not last forever.</p><p>--</p><p>(I know RinHaru that turns into RinTori may be a bit trite, but I hope the readers will enjoy my twist on it!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Heartache Like High Tide

Rin had been with Haru for weeks now. Their relationship was wild and alive, and there was never a moment of boredom. No one could rile Rin up like Haru could, and vice versa. They were on fire, crazy about each other. 

“Ah, Haruka,” Rin’s breath was hot over Haru’s bare shoulder. It was a Saturday, and Rin had taken a bus over to Haru’s side of town. Spending the afternoon together led where it always did; they were naked, sweaty, and wrapped around each other. Haru’s face was buried in his pillow on his bed, ass being ravaged in the only way Rin could. Before they knew it, it was over, both of them spent and exhausted. Rin pulled out and took off the condom with a sigh, getting up and throwing it away. When he turned to the bed, Haru was laying on his back, cheeks flushed, but face otherwise flat and expressionless. That was the only thing about his lover that ever bothered Rin, that cool, unwavering expression.

Rin caught sight of the clock as he stepped back to the bed, “Shit,” he swore. It was already 9:30, and curfew on weekends was 10, unless the student was checked out with parental consent — which Rin wasn’t. “I have to go. I’m gonna get my ass chewed for being out late.” Haru simply nodded and sat up. Rin fumbled around, picking up and putting on his clothes as Haru watched.

Haru sighed, “It’s fine.” Once Rin was completely dressed, he walked back over to the bed and kissed Haru’s lips.

“I would stay if I could.” The redhead sighed back. Haru nodded, and then Rin left, reluctantly. He ran the whole way back to Samezuka, which wasn’t really difficult for him. The trip did take nearly an hour though, and he was late. Rin stood and listened to a teacher scold him vehemently, until finally he was given a detention and allowed to go to his room. 

Just as he opened the door and stepped in, his roommate nearly attacked him. “Rin-senpai! I was so worried when you didn’t come back, and when you didn’t answer my call! Where have you been?!” Nitori basically shouted, holding Rin’s arm.

Rin sighed, “I was at Haru’s, lost track of time.” Instantly, Nitori’s expression fell.

“Oh, well… I’m glad you’re back, senpai.” He let go of Rin’s arm and retreated back to his bed. Rin raised an eyebrow but didn’t press. However, Nitori’s look of disappointment tugged at his mind. He brushed it off, going to the bathroom to take a shower. When he got out, the light was off in their room, and Nitori was a blanket-covered lump on his top bunk bed.

Nitori should have expected that Rin would have been with Haru, but having it confirmed felt like a slap in the face. He could only guess at what the two were doing that had them lose track of time that much, but Nitori didn’t want to think about it. When Rin turned his back to him, Nitori decided it was best to just go to sleep. He laid in his bed and stared up at the dark ceiling, heart in his gut. 

It was a mistake to have fallen for his senpai. He’d loved Rin even before he knew who Haru was. And then, all of the sudden, things were mended, and now Rin was obsessively infatuated with Haru. What’s worse, Rin didn’t even tell Nitori himself; Nitori heard about their relationship from someone else on their swim team. His small heart shattered right there in the locker room. Since then, he had been doing his best to not let it hurt so much, but it was starting to get hard to be strong.

Closing his eyes, Nitori tried to let the sound of the shower lull him to sleep. It was hopeless, though. Behind his eyelids, all Nitori could picture was Rin and Haru doing the things that he only ever dreamed about doing. Not only sexual things, but domestic things like, laying in the same bed, or holding hands. He heard the shower shut off as a tear rolled off of his face. With a sniffle, Nitori rolled over and pulled the blanket over his face, pretending to sleep.

The next morning, Nitori was surprised that Rin wasn’t going to go to Haru’s again. He said he had some homework to finish, and Nitori was privately thankful for that. The two of them sat at their desks and worked alone. Nitori hated himself for it, but his heart practically buzzed just knowing Rin was a few feet away from him.

Around noon, Rin sighed loudly and turned to Nitori, who was doing his best to read an English book. “Hey, do you want to get some lunch?” Nitori jumped and fumbled with closing his book.

“U-um, sure.” Rin thought Nitori was blushing, but he just shrugged it off. The kid had always been a bit weird. The two of them left their room a few minutes after that, walking down the street to a restaurant they both enjoyed. They ate mostly in silence, and Rin was a bit unnerved by it. Usually, Nitori would talk his ear off, but the underclassman didn’t hardly even look at him. Rin tried to sift through his mind to think of any reason why Nitori would be upset, but came up with nothing. But they were friends - surely Nitori would tell him if he was upset about something.

“Hey,” Rin started as gently as he could once he was finished eating, “is everything okay?” 

Nitori’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, “Yes, I’m fine.” He smiled, but it didn’t seem right to Rin. He wasn’t going to press if Nitori didn’t want to talk about it, though.

“All right.” Rin shrugged, “Are you ready to head back?” Nitori nodded, and the two of them left, walking down the street a few inches apart.

—

Things were calm until Tuesday’s swim practice. Nitori had not been told that the Iwatobi boys were joining them for another joint practice, but they were all there in their locker room - Haru, Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei. Nitori didn’t want to look at Haru, or any of them really. He simply turned to his locker and got ready for practice; he was one of the first ones out to the pool. He tried to forget about the main sources of his foolish heartbreak, but it was basically impossible.

Nitori was swimming a tepid warm-up lap in the lane he and Rin shared when he walked over and crouched by the edge. A regrettable flutter in his stomach, Nitori swam over to him with a questioning look on his face. Rin cleared his throat, “Since Haru’s here, is it okay with you if I partnered up with him today?” 

The feeling in Nitori’s chest was probably similar to that of actually being impaled, but he could never say no to Rin. With a practiced, sweet smile, he nodded, “Sure, senpai.” His voice was soft, as if he would shatter if he spoke too loudly. Rin grinned and thanked him, springing up and leaving Nitori to sink back into the water, feeling lonelier than ever. The rest of practice he focused on his swimming, trying to be faster than his other times, pushing to forget about Rin and Haru. As soon as practice was over, Nitori was one of the first under a shower in the locker room, only taking a few seconds to rinse the chlorine off of his body. Then he dressed and went to the dorms, without bothering to look around. 

Once he was back in his room, Nitori changed into pajamas and laid on his bed. It was a bit early for that, only 6 in the evening, but he didn’t feel like doing anything else. Unfortunately, his mind wouldn’t stop; Nitori kept replaying Rin’s question over and over, continuously reminding him of his pitiful crush. Of course Rin would always choose Haru over Nitori, he had to learn to deal with it. _He will never love me like he loves Nanase-san…_ Nitori thought as the first tears fell out of his eyes and rolled down his face, landing in his hair.  

“Stupid…” He mumbled as he rolled over onto his side, curling up into a ball. He used the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe his cheeks several times, silently crying in his bed. His phone rested near him, and occasionally he checked the time, and began to wonder when Rin would return. Though, with Haru on campus, it could be a while, Nitori concluded as fresh tears filled his eyes. 

He hated himself for being such an emotional baby about this situation, but that’s just how he was. Nitori couldn’t help but cry, not when he was living with the person he loved the most, who was also unattainable, the one who brushed him off all the time for someone else. Nitori knew that he was a very small part of Rin’s life, while he was a major one in Nitori’s. Seeing Rin day in and day out both made him undeniably elated, and also very dejected.

It was all really rather pathetic and needed to stop, Nitori decided. He sat up and wiped his eyes with the collar of his shirt just as the doorknob turned. “Oh no,” He gasped quietly; Nitori knew his face must have looked awfully pitiful after having cried for an hour. Rin would definitely see. There would be no avoiding it.

Rin stepped in the room and almost instantly he met Nitori’s wet eyes. “Ai?” He dropped his backpack on the floor. Nitori’s heart surged when his nickname came from Rin’s lips, but then more tears came to his eyes. “Hey, dude, what’s wrong?” Rin worried and rushed over to their bunks.  Nitori was at a loss for words; he couldn’t tell Rin the truth, so he just shook his head and hid his face in his hands. Rin frowned and climbed up onto Nitori’s bed, sitting across from him. “Tell me what’s wrong, Ai, please?”

Nitori looked up at Rin’s concerned face as a tear rolled down his cheek. He opened his mouth searching for words that would cover it up. Rin reached over to him, thumbing the tear off of his face. A sob blubbered out of Nitori’s lips. “I… I can’t explain senpai. I just… I can’t.” He sniffed. 

With a sigh, Rin grabbed Nitori’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug. It was a fairly awkward gesture, but all he wanted to do was make Nitori stop crying. After a brief moment of surprise, Nitori clung to his senpai, clutching his nylon jacket. After a couple minutes of crying on Rin’s shoulder, Nitori soon was able to stop the tears from his eyes. Maybe it was the way Rin was rubbing his upper back, or the smell of chlorine in his red hair, or just the proximity, but it made Nitori feel a bit better. It also made him feel worse, but in the moment he focused on the better.

“Okay,” Nitori breathed, finally letting go of Rin, “sorry.”

Rin gave him a sympathetic smile, “Just… Uh, let me know when you’re ready to talk about it, okay?” Nitori nodded, and Rin left his bed gently. While he waited for his heart to calm down, Nitori committed the way Rin’s body felt against his to memory. It was an awesome feeling, and, for once, Nitori let himself enjoy it. He also enjoyed seeing Rin’s soft, concerned face - not everyone got that privilege. For once, he felt at peace.


	2. Chapter 2: Secrets

The next Saturday, Rin decided to stay at Samezuka rather than go see Haru. He was still worried about Nitori, and he thought that spending the day together would make him feel better and maybe even get him to tell Rin what was bothering him. He went out earlier and rented some movies, coming back with several for them to pick from. When he returned, Nitori appeared to be surprised. “I hope you don’t have any plans today, Ai.” Rin greeted.

“What?” Nitori raised an eyebrow, “I never have any plans, really. Why?” 

Rin grinned at him with his sharky teeth, “You and I are gonna have a movie day.” He said proudly, holding up the plastic bag of movies. “Only because I don’t feel like going out today!” He tacked on as a clumsy afterthought. Nitori’s face lit up as he smiled, and it warmed Rin’s heart somehow. 

The two of them settled on Rin’s bed, Nitori wrapped up in a light blanket snugly beside Rin. They had some drinks and snacks around them for when they got hungry or thirsty. The first movie they watched was an action-thriller type with lots of daring sword fights and deaths. Rin enjoyed that one more than Nitori did. Then Rin played another, a much less gory film about dreams that was a bit hard to understand; it didn’t help that the film was in English, even though Rin put on subtitles. By the time they finished the second movie, it was already the afternoon.

“I’m gonna go grab some lunch.” Rin said, pushing himself off the bed. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He tugged on his shoes and headed to the door once Nitori told him what to get for him. 

After Rin was gone, Nitori began to process the day. Rin had chosen to stay with _him_ instead of going to Haru’s house. Of course, Rin had given him some cover-up excuse saying that Haru was busy with this and that and that he wanted to stay in, but Nitori had learned how to tell when Rin was just being, well, _Rin_ and making excuses to not seem ‘lame.’ Nitori finally decided that Rin must’ve felt bad about how Nitori bawled all over him, and wanted to spend time together in an attempt to make Nitori happy.

That idea made Nitori feel warm in his chest and also a little embarrassed. With a light sigh, Nitori laid down on Rin’s bed, taking in a deep breath through his nose. The pillow smelled like chlorine and hair, which Nitori wasn’t surprised by. Rin didn’t use any particular smelly soaps or colognes, so of course his pillow would only smell like the pool. Nitori was nonetheless comforted by it, remembering that Rin had smelled like the chemical when he hugged him. He knew he didn’t have long to lay on Rin’s bed like this, since his roommate wasn’t going far to get them lunch. After another minute of laying there, Nitori sat up, adjusting his blanket around him.

A few minutes later, Rin returned with lunch, and they watched another movie, followed by another. Then Rin left to get then dinner. After they ate, Nitori ended up laying on the edge of the bed on his side, in front of Rin while they watched another movie. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to lay beside Rin, but his back was beginning to ache from sitting with bad posture. This movie was more aimed at children, but it was still a good show. By the time it was over, Nitori had almost fallen asleep.

“Hey,” Rin started softly, nudging the boy’s shoulder. Nitori rolled over to where he was lying on his back, looking up at Rin’s face. His expression urged the redhead on. Rin rubbed his neck wit his palm, “Um… Look, I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it the other day but, Ai, I’m worried about you, and you know I don’t really do well with the feelings talk and shit, but please? I just want to know what’s got you so messed up, I mean we’re supposed to be friends and…”

Nitori was laughing, a mixed up sound of amusement and a small amount of bitter sadness. It tugged at Rin’s heart. Nitori sat up but kept his eyes glued to his hands in his lap. “Okay, Rin-senpai, I will tell you, but I can’t say a lot of specifics okay?” He glanced up to see Rin nod and took a deep breath. “The problem is that… I love someone. But… I know they don’t love me, nor will they ever.” Nitori’s eyes tried for tears, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Rin.

“W-well why do you think that?”

Nitori glanced up at Rin, “Um… He loves someone else.”  He sniffed as Rin frowned. 

Rin thought for a moment, “Is it someone I know?” 

“Y-yes, I do think you’ve met him. That’s all I’ll say.” Nitori took a deep breath and blinked the tears out of his eyes. He looked up at Rin, and his heart did something in his chest. It was a mix of pain and happiness because of the way Rin was looking at him. The look on Rin’s face was genuine, and soft, a rare sight. “I-if you figure it out one day, I’ll tell you if you’re right or wrong, but you can’t just guess all the names you know. You have to have, uh, evidence or something.” Nitori added on, voice a bit stronger.

With a scoff, Rin smirked, “I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll punch his face in for making you feel like this.” Nitori rolled his eyes; that was Rin, always so charming and the biggest dork in town.

“Thank you, Rin-senpai.” Nitori smiled at him, and then laid back down, settling on his side, facing the TV. “Another movie?” With a light chuckle, Rin got up and put in another, settling back into his spot on his bed, crossing his legs just behind Nitori’s head. For the first time in a while, Nitori felt at peace with his hopeless love for Rin. It seemed less haunting now that it was half way out in the open. He knew that the redhead was somewhat oblivious, so he would never guess it on his own.

Halfway into the movie, Rin noticed Nitori was asleep. His hands were crumpled up under his chin, and his lips were ever so parted, just enough for air to pass through. His eyelashes were dark against his light cheeks, and his face looked tranquil. The tortured expression he had often donned as of late was wiped away. Ignoring the movie, Rin tentatively started to run his fingers through Nitori’s short hair, noting that it was unusually soft for a swimmer. Nitori probably actually took the time to take care of himself, unlike Rin. 

“Shit, I’m being weird,” Rin muttered to himself and stopped staring at the sleeping boy in front of him. His fingers remained in Nitori’s hair though, absentmindedly combing through the delicate silvery strands. When the movie was over, Rin turned off the TV and glanced back down at Nitori. He didn’t want to wake him up, so Rin just carefully scooted him away from the edge of the bed, pulling his blanket over them both. He settled with his head on his pillow, Nitori close to his side. Rin probably should have felt awkward, but instead, he felt very comfortable, and slept better than he had in weeks.

—

Nitori was the first one to wake up Sunday morning. His eyes fluttered open softly, and then they flew open wide. His face was inches, maybe, away from Rin’s. He looked so sweet, innocent even, in his slumber. Nitori could smell Rin’s skin, smelling definitely not of chlorine this time, but something more alluring. He was warm too, almost seeming like he was radiating.

Then, Nitori felt it. Just as he moved his hips to adjust his position, he felt the most dreadful and regrettable morning wood he’d ever had. He gasped and instantly got out of the bed, nearly falling from being tangled in the blankets. Of course, his actions woke Rin up, and the redhead sat up, looking at Nitori very confusedly. “U-um, I just- uh, I have to go to the bathroom! I’m sorry for waking you senpai!” Nitori turned away from his roommate as fast as he could and ran to the bathroom, nearly slamming the door behind him.

Unnerved, flustered, and mortified, Nitori brushed his teeth and washed his face, trying to get his stubborn boner to deflate. Of course, it wouldn’t. “I’m going to take a shower!” He called to the other side of the door. He heard a grunt of a response. He turned the shower on, turning the knob to the colder side and undressed. Nitori would just have to take care of it like he had for months now. He would stand under the shower and touch himself, thinking of Rin the whole time. He always hated himself afterward, feeling impossibly guilty and dirty, so shameful. If Rin ever knew, Nitori doubted they would ever speak again. 

As the water fell against his back, Nitori leaned against the small shower wall and started to help himself. He bit his lip and let his imagination take charge. He imagined himself and Rin in various inappropriate scenarios, things that would never actually happen in real life. This time, though, the images seemed more real, his imagination more vivid. Now he could imagine how Rin’s skin would smell, a faint hint of their lovemaking musk, and the warmth of his body. With a sigh and a bit back moan, Nitori finished, and then cleaned himself off while feeling the wash of guilt come over him.

Nitori was glad when he left the bathroom to find that Rin was sleeping once more. He glanced at Rin’s desk, spying his phone left there, alert light blinking. Nitori knew he shouldn’t, but he tapped the button to light up the screen to see who was trying to contact his sleeping senpai. There were messages from Haru, a few, and Nitori was surprised to see that some were from the afternoon before. Though, with the previews off, he didn’t have any guess as to what they said. His heart was warm when he realized that Rin was focused on them and their movie day, rather than talking to his boyfriend.

The screen of Rin’s phone darkened just after Nitori noticed the heart symbol beside Haru’s name, and that warmth washed away, replaced by the cold loneliness he had grown accustomed to. With a sigh, Nitori picked up the book he’d been reading and settled into his desk chair. It was time to bottle up his love, forget about it.  

Later on, Rin awoke and looked at his phone. Nitori listened as he checked his cell phone and swore under his breath. Nitori guessed Haru was upset about being ignored, and somewhat confirmed that suspicion when Rin left to go see Haru with a tight-lipped face. With a sigh, Nitori watched him rush out, wishing deeply for him to stay.

Rin got on a bus to go to Haru’s side of town, jogging from the station to the quaint little neighborhood. When he got to Haru’s house, he walked right in, knowing it was always left open. “Haru?” He glanced around the living room, and then the bathroom, finding his boyfriend in the tub, staring into the water. “Hey, Haru.” Rin greeted as he walked over to the tub. Haru looked up at him as a silent greeting. Rin sighed, “Okay, I’m sorry about yesterday it’s just Ai, he’s been really upset about something, and I thought he could use some cheering up. I’m sorry I forgot to look at my phone or tell you what’s up, but it won’t happen again - I promise.”

Haru nodded, “It’s fine.” Rin smiled and leaned in to kiss Haru, meeting their lips lightly. Haru kissed back steadily as Rin cupped his cheek. Rin stayed at Haru’s until the sun began to set. It was hard to pull away from his boyfriend, but Rin didn’t want to break curfew again, especially not on a school night. He kissed Haru goodbye about four times before he made it out of the door. 

When he returned to his dorm room, the first thing he saw was Nitori, in nothing but his small boxer-briefs, bent over in front of his dresser, digging out some clothes. When he heard the door, Nitori jumped and gasped, “Rin-senpai! I-I didn’t know you were going to be back this early! Um, hang on.” He stopped looking and grabbed some clothes and bolted back to the bathroom. Rin raised an eyebrow; it wasn’t like he’d never seen Nitori undressed or anything. Or maybe he hadn’t. He couldn’t remember. He plopped down on his bed and tried to think of a time he’d seen Nitori in the showers after practice, but somehow Nitori was always out before everyone else. _Maybe he’s just shy or somethin’…_ Rin thought to himself. But even so, it was just boxers; they weren’t much different from the tiny swim shorts he wore.

A moment later, Nitori exited the bathroom wearing loose shorts that stopped a few inches above his knees and a black Samezuka t-shirt. Rin’s mind subconsciously registered this as cute. He widened his eyes and looked away, trying to keep from blushing, “Uh, sorry for walking in unannounced.”

“Oh, uh, no it’s okay, I just… Uh…” Nitori floundered for words, cheeks burning, “Uh, was surprised, that’s all.” He laughed nervously. Following this, there was a long awkward silence while Nitori uncomfortably shifted his weight from one hip to the other. “Rin-senpai? Are you all right? Did you and Nanase-san have a fight? U-uh, I mean- I don’t mean to _assume_ I just…” Nitori wanted to slap himself, “You seem a bit… off?” 

Rin sighed and glanced back at his roommate, “No, we’re fine. I mean, it’s kind of hard to tell with him sometimes, like… His face is so blank _all the time_. I never know how he’s actually feeling, and it makes me crazy.” Rin pouted. Nitori’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of trouble brewing between Rin and Haru. Tentatively, Nitori perched himself on the very edge of Rin’s bed, looking at him with curious eyes as Rin continued to vent. “Like I’m so used to you- you’re like an open book. I can always tell how you’re feeling, at least sort of. But Haru… I dunno, I guess it’s because of the past, but he just is so closed up.”

Nitori chewed his lip, “Um… Have you told him that it bothers you?” This was how Rin’s venting sessions always went: he would unload and Nitori would pop in little questions or pieces of advice.

“No,” The redhead sighed, “Sometimes it’s hard to talk to him…”  He raked a hand through his hair, “But after I got him to leave the bathtub he seemed okay, I mean we- uh, never mind.” Rin looked as if he said something he shouldn’t have.

Nitori knew what he was going to say, but for some pathetic, self-torturing reason, he wanted to hear Rin say it, “You what?” He pressed innocently, lifting an eyebrow.

Rin blushed, “We… You know, did _stuff_.” Nitori’s gut churned.

“Ah- oh, I understand. Well, maybe things are fine then? I mean, I’m sure he would say something if he was unhappy.” Nitori glanced down at his lap, feeling frigid. Of course Rin and Haru’s relationship was perfectly fine. Of course. Nitori was foolish for assuming anything else.

Rin thought for a moment, silently. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Nitori nodded with a smile, feeling his chest ache inside the way it usually did. He willed himself to keep his composure as he got up to work on the book he’d been trying to get through. He didn’t have the resolve to discuss Rin’s relationship any longer. Nitori sat in his desk chair, opening the book where he’d left off. He managed through a chapter on his own, but once again ran into difficult spots. “Um, senpai?” He started, turning to look at Rin, who was now laying flat on his back on his bed. 

The redhead sat up, “Hm?”

Nitori stood up and walked over to Rin’s bed, sitting on the floor by his head, book in hand, “I need your help again.” He asked sheepishly. Rin held out his hand for the book, and Nitori let him have it, pointing out the few sentences he needed help with.

Rin read over it once and then read aloud for Nitori. His English was nearly perfect, just having tastes of his Japanese accent left in it. He cleared his throat, “ _‘If you ask me to kiss you, I will,’ he says. His fingers stroke the inside of my wrists, and I burst into flames. ‘Kiss me,’ I say. He does._ ” He handed the book back to Nitori casually, but Nitori was feeling all but casual. 

“Thanks, senpai.” He said quickly, scrambling up back to his desk. Of all the things he couldn’t read on his own, of course it had to be some romantic moment. 

Rin just watched Nitori with a confused look on his face. Rin hadn’t really noticed it before, but Nitori had been acting pretty strange as of late. The first-year had always been a little quirky, but now his behavior was even more so. He watched as Nitori read his book, noticing that the tips of his ears were red. As Rin pondered this strange behavior, he couldn’t help but notice the strange wall that had risen between the two of them, and he tried to think of when it happened. After some thought, he traced it back to that relay he did with Haru, and his other old friends. But even then, Nitori was ‘normal’. _Maybe it was when… Haru and I got together?_ Rin thought, but wasn’t sure. He tried to go weeks back in his mind, to when he’d told Nitori about his relationship.

 _Shit,_ Rin thought with a feeling of cold realization, _I never told him._ Perhaps that could explain Nitori being more strange than normal, but Rin still wasn’t sure. Surely if that was the issue, Nitori would have gotten over it by now. It also couldn’t have been due to the fact that Rin was dating a guy, since Nitori had implied that he was also in love with a guy. 

Love was a pretty strong term, and Rin wasn’t even sure if he could say he was in love with Haru yet. He glanced back to the younger, eyes sweeping over his body. Nitori’s body seemed tense, rattled. He had a small frame, but Rin knew that his muscles were very built, but slender for swimming. Nitori was pretty adorable, Rin admitted to himself. He wore his heart on his sleeve, for the most part, and was always expressive; Nitori felt everything so fully, never smothering any emotions. Rin usually knew what the younger was feeling or what he was thinking, until now, that is. 

With a sigh, Rin decided he would just have to wait to figure out what Nitori’s problem was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave comments with anything I should know like critiques or anything!
> 
> <3


	3. Chapter 3: Some Indication Necessary

“Rin-senpai, you almost beat your personal best!” Nitori cheered from the starting block after Rin surfaced, having just finished a practice heat. The first-year held out a hand for Rin, who took it this time. Nitori was a little surprised, Rin had never taken his hand to get out of the pool; his heart fluttered miserably in his chest. The redhead’s palm was wet against his as he pulled his senpai out of the pool. Nitori might have held on for a second too long, and dropped Rin’s hand abruptly. “You just keep getting better- getting better at swimming! You’re such a good swimmer!” Nitori didn’t even know what he was saying anymore; love had turned him into an absolute bumbling fool. Thankfully, before he could say anything else ridiculous, it was his turn to swim.

It had been about a week and a half since Rin had consciously noticed Nitori’s unusual behavior, and he was starting to get used to it. It had even become somewhat amusing. He walked over to the sidelines and grabbed a towel, rubbing it through his hair. Rin also took this time to watch Nitori, looking at the way he was bent over, muscles coiling, ready to spring when Mikoshiba blew the whistle. Rin’s eyes swept over the contours of Nitori’s body, accidentally staring. The sound of the whistle jolted Rin out of his daze as Nitori’s slender body shot into the water. _Shit, why was I staring at him?_ Rin thought, frustrated with himself.

Trying to focus on Nitori’s swimming, Rin stared into the water. After several short seconds, his practice heat was over, and his shoulders were out of the water as he caught his breath, taking off his goggles and cap. Nitori climbed out on his own and walked over to Rin, smile on his lips. Upon closer inspection, Rin noticed faint little red lines under Nitori’s eyes, impressions left from his goggles being so tight. “Senpai? Is everything all right?” Nitori asked, pulling Rin once again out of his thoughts.

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’m just spacing out; that’s all.” Rin brushed him off, handing Nitori a towel.

Nitori patted his face with the towel, looking curiously at Rin. His roommate seemed a bit put-off, as if something was bothering him, something he didn’t want to talk about. Nitori wasn’t worried, though. He knew Rin would open up eventually. 

When practice ended, the boys headed to the locker room. Nitori did his usual routine of simply rinsing off and then speeding out of there. He always did this because he was pathologically afraid of seeing Rin naked. Seeing him in his skin tight swim suit was one thing, but completely naked would be something else entirely. Given the fact that Nitori was hopelessly in love with the redhead already, and already touched himself to the idea of him, seeing Rin naked was the last thing Nitori needed.

Instead of retreating to their room, Nitori waited outside of the locker room door for Rin. After about ten minutes of waiting, he almost gave up, but then Rin finally exited, looking grumpier than usual. “Hey, Rin-senpai!” Nitori greeted cheerfully; Rin looked surprised.

“Oh, hey. Did you wait for me?” Rin asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Um,” Nitori started to walk with him, “Yes?  I mean, I usually don’t, but today I just felt like not walking back alone, so… Yeah.” He bit his lip nervously. Rin probably liked walking alone, and Nitori was bothering him, “I can go if you want me to though! I don’t mind.”

Rin frowned at him, “No, it’s okay.” The two walked in silence, very awkward silence, to their room. When they were both inside, Rin plopped down on his bed, and Nitori took off for the shower.

Arms crossed under his head, staring up at the bottom of Nitori’s bed, Rin’s mind was busy. Currently, he was busy ignoring the fact that he’d just _checked out_ his best-friend-slash-roommate’s ass during practice. Rin decided to focus on figuring out who Nitori was in love with; first, he made a mental list of who his roommate was close to, who also loved someone else. The list was very small, but none of them were really people he could see Nitori falling for. He let out a very frustrated sigh. “Maybe he’ll give me another hint…” He muttered to himself. His mind whirled in circles while he waited for Nitori to come out of the bathroom.

When he did, Rin sat up eagerly, looking at Nitori, who wore sleep pants that were much too large and a t-shirt in the same condition. “Senpai?” Nitori asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Rin cleared his throat, “I need a hint.”

“Excuse me?”

“A hint!” Rin sighed, exasperated. “I am literally coming up with no one, trying to think of who it is you like. So, I need a hint.”

Nitori’s cheeks colored, thinking that this must have been why Rin had been acting standoffish. “Um… Well. He’s your age. Er…” Nitori scrambled to think of something to say that wouldn’t be painfully obvious, “He’s an athlete.” He concluded. Rin nodded thoughtfully. Nitori’s blood ran cold, begging for Rin to not guess correctly.

“Okay. I’ll keep thinking.” Rin said with a frown. Nitori internally deflated with relief. His secret love would still remain a secret for yet another day. It saddened him, but he knew keeping his love to himself was necessary. Rin was happy with Haru, and they were probably in love. Haru probably got to do all of the things Nitori wished he could.  Haru probably got hold Rin’s hand, or rest his head on his shoulder as they watched a movie. Nitori’s gut churned, and he knew he needed to stop thinking of it all, unless he wanted to end up in tears like a baby again. The last thing he needed was to cry in front of Rin _again_. So he saved his tears until night, when he was alone in his bunk, silently letting a few tears fall from his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to point out earlier, but with season two, my fic diverges from canon just a bit. Hopefully no one minds!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4: Still a Mystery

Yet another week of heartache passed for Nitori. Saturdays were always the loneliest for him, because Rin almost always left to visit Haru. 

That particular Saturday, Rin didn’t leave until almost noon, which was fairly unusual for him. Normally, he was running out of the door as early as possible so he could spend as much time as he could with Haru. Though, when he woke up and saw Nitori already at his desk working on something, Rin found it hard to leave. Nitori looked tired, lacking his usual bright exuberance; his greeting smile didn’t reach his eyes.

So, Rin stayed until Haru started sending him impatient text messages. On the way to Haru’s house, Rin’s mind was working on overdrive to figure out who Nitori was pining for. He’d told Rin that he had felt this way for a long time, but that didn’t give Rin any clearer of thoughts. His mind kept going to Mikoshiba, because he was one of the few had a girlfriend or something, but he was older than Rin. No one else really had a steady relationship, was an athlete, was Rin’s age, and someone he knew. 

Rin paused, _Well, I guess I’m forgetting about myself. I mean, I’m with Haru, so I guess that fits the criteria… But surely Nitori would have said something earlier…_ He pondered the idea of Nitori being in love with him. Rin was surprised when he didn’t feel uncomfortable about it, which was rare because it wasn’t hard to make Rin feel awkward. He shook it off though; he probably wasn’t the one Nitori was in love with.

Once he arrived at Haru’s house, Rin tried to stop thinking about Nitori but found it hard to do so. The first time he kissed Haru, he thought about what it would be like to kiss Nitori. Rin was extremely bothered by this; he knew it was wrong to think of someone else when he was with Haru, no matter who it was. Rin kissed Haru harder, focusing on Haru’s face and body and everything that was him. Of course, this led to sex, which led to a nap, which led to even more sex, until Rin broke curfew, again. 

Instead of running, Rin just walked back to Samezuka. He checked his phone, noticing that he didn’t have a message or voicemail from Nitori this time. Usually whenever Rin was ‘missing’ for an unusual amount of time, the first year called at least twice. Rin wondered if he was okay as he picked up his pace. He got back to school, got lectured and assigned a punishment, and then went to his room. As he fished his key out of his pocket, Rin noticed that the light was off, which meant Nitori was probably asleep.

Being quiet wasn’t really one of Rin’s best skills, but he did his best to make little noise as he stumbled through the dark to his bed. He pulled his shirt off, dropping it on the floor. Suddenly tired, Rin got onto his bed, which proved to be an awkward task seeing that there was a rather large something in his way. 

“What the fuck- Nitori??” 

The younger stirred and then jolted awake with a gasp, “I- I’m sorry senpai! I didn’t mean to fall asleep here I was waiting for you to come back and- I’m sorry!” He yelped, nearly falling off of the bed as he tried to move away from the other. With a sigh, Rin managed to catch him by his shoulder in the dark, reaching to turn on his lamp. Nitori’s face was blushing red, and he looked mortified.

In spite of everything, Rin laughed, which made Nitori feel even more embarrassed. He moved to get off of Rin’s bed, spewing more apologies. In the process of getting up too quickly, Nitori hit his head on the rail of his bunk, hard.

He sat back on the bed, clutching his head, “Owww…” He whined, and Rin did his best to stifle his laughter. The redhead scooted closer to Nitori.

“Are you okay?” He asked, patting Nitori’s head.

“Well… I feel pretty foolish.” Nitori answered with a bit of a pouting lip. He still hadn’t stopped blushing. He felt awful; not only had he accidentally fallen asleep in Rin’s bed as he waited for him to return, but he nearly gave himself brain damage trying to get out of Rin’s bed.

Rin shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.” Nitori looked at him sheepishly and got off of his bed. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Rin was shirtless and in such close proximity. Awkwardly, he climbed up to his bed, heart pounding in his chest. Nitori listened to Rin settle under his blanket and then turned the lamp off. With a sigh, Nitori closed his eyes, trying to calm down his heart and brain.

After a few minutes of silence, Rin spoke, “Ai?”

“Yes?”

“Were you busy today?”

“No… I was just here doing schoolwork. Why?” Nitori was confused, and Rin was being weird.

“Oh… I was just wondering. Normally you call when I’m out past curfew.”

Nitori hesitated, “W-well, I figured you were probably busy… And I… Didn’t want to bother you.” _I didn’t want to hear you say that you were with Haru, getting carried away,_ Nitori thought.

“I don’t mind if you call me. You’re… not a bother.” Rin admitted softly.

Nitori’s stomach exploded into butterflies, eyes wide, “Okay, then I will next time.” Those were probably the nicest words Rin had ever said to him.

He heard Rin exhale, as if saying that was hard for him; after all, Rin wasn’t the best with emotions and words. “Goodnight, Ai.”

With a smile, Nitori relished in the moment, “Goodnight, Rin-senpai.” His heart still beat fiercely in his chest.

—

A couple days later at swim practice, Mikoshiba reminded the team of the small local tournament they were attending for practice. It was in the next town over, and both Nitori and Rin had signed up to go. Since they would be staying in a hotel, only a small fraction of the team was actually going. Since Rin was one of the top swimmers, he was picked, and he’d convinced Mikoshiba to also bring Nitori. The tournament was the following weekend, so everyone had to make sure they were at the top of their game.

Rin and Nitori both needed to clear their heads. When it came to the races, they didn’t need their busy thoughts buzzing around in their brains distracting them from winning. It was difficult, though, for Nitori at least. Longer practices meant more time than normal that he would be around Rin while he was half dressed. It was distracting, to say the least. However, Nitori managed to get through the practices as if everything was normal; his times were as good as they usually were. After practice on Tuesday and Thursday, the duo ran a few laps on the school track before retiring for the day.

Then it was Friday afternoon, and it was time to get on the bus. Nitori, of course, took his rightful seat beside Rin. This somewhat irked the redhead, because it proved to him that Nitori’s crush was not on the bus. Unless of course it was him, but he was somewhat ignoring that possibility. The bus ride was only going to be an hour long.

“Are you excited, senpai?” Nitori asked, practically bubbling.

Rin shrugged a shoulder, “It’s just a local thing. Not a big deal.” Nitori frowned at him. 

“At least tryyyy to have a good time.” Nitori whined, nudging Rin with his elbow. The redhead rolled his eyes and smirked.

“No promises.” Nitori lightly giggled at that response. Rin noticed it had been a while since he’d seen Nitori so happy, and it began to make him feel a bit more light hearted; seeing Nitori in such high spirits was rubbing off on him. The bus ride was rather calm, most of the boys saving their energy for the tournament. Rin and Nitori talked quietly about this and that, until the bus finally pulled up to the hotel.

The tournament would span over two days; Saturday would be the first rounds of all the various events, and then Sunday would be the finals and the relay. The team was going to spend a total of two nights in this hotel. Nitori wasn’t worried. He and Rin would share a room like they always have and sleep in their own beds. When they got off the bus, Mikoshiba handed them their room keys.

“Thank you,” Nitori chimed politely as Rin said nothing. Their room was on the second floor, down a long hall. When Nitori found the door, he double checked the number on his key before opening it. “Here we are- er…” He glanced around the room after he stepped in. The room was very plain and minimally decorated. The large window on the opposite wall had dark curtains drawn over it, and beside it was a small desk with a telephone, and a chair that didn’t particularly look comfortable. There was a small television on top of a dresser. What stopped his voice, though, was the fact that there was one bed, one queen-sized bed. “There’s only one bed.” Nitori stated obviously. 

Rin just shrugged, moving past Nitori and dropping his bag on the end of the bed. “Not a problem. We’ve shared a bed before.” 

 _Right,_ Nitori thought miserably, _no big deal… Except for the fact I woke up with a boner! Who knows what will happen this time…_ He kept his face straight as his mind whirled around. However, with the tournament happening, Nitori would just have to give in and sleep like he normally would and try not to worry about doing anything weird. “Right,” Nitori smiled and placed his backpack and duffle bag beside the left half of the bed. 

There was an awkward moment of silence as Rin plopped down on the edge of the bed beside his bag with a sigh. Without much else to do, Nitori dug out the book he’d been reading, which he was almost done with, and sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard, knees bent close to his chest.

After a few more moments, Rin turned on the old TV, searching the channels for something to drown out the silence. The silence was thick between the two, and Rin found himself not really in the mood to talk. The sudden wall between the two ate at him. He glanced to his left at Nitori, who seemed to be enjoying what he was reading, if the smile on his face meant anything as his light blue eyes swept over the words. Rin faintly remembered that the book was some American young adult romance story, and he’d helped Nitori read a few words from time to time. Rin had helped the first year a lot over the past year with his English work, and now it seemed to have paid off. After all, Nitori had read the majority of that book on his own.

Rin directed his eyes to the TV abruptly, after realizing he’d been staring. Lately, he’d been doing that a lot; he would look at Nitori and get lost in thought about him, almost like some fuzzy domestic day dream. Next Rin would be seeing a haze of stars and hearts when he stared at Nitori. He snorted to himself at that idea.

“Hm, senpai?” Nitori had heard Rin and looked up from his book.

“Eh, it’s nothing. Just news.” Rin brushed it off. There was no way he was going to explain that he’d been basically daydreaming about daydreaming about Nitori. Luckily, Nitori let it slide, smiling at Rin before returning his attention to his book once more. Rin suddenly felt conflicted. He wanted to look over at Nitori again and see those small lips turned up in just the hint of a smile as his blue topaz eyes deciphered foreign texts. He even wanted to lean close to Nitori’s shoulder and read along with him. _Shit, this is just getting worse,_ Rin cursed himself, and then stood promptly. “I’m gonna go get some food.” He said out loud as he dug his wallet out of his bag.

Nitori placed his bookmark in the spine of his book, “Oh, I’ll come too!” He said lightly, unbending his legs.

Rin quickly shot him down, “No, you stay here- I-I’ll be right back.”

“Is everything all right?” Nitori pressed, lifting an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah. I just, uh… You’re almost done with your book right? You should stay here and finish it.” Rin fumbled with his excuse and then absconded before Nitori could say anything else.

Nitori knew Rin well enough to know two things: one being that Rin was covering something up, and the other being that he needed to be alone. Normally when he was like that, Nitori didn’t follow, so he simply sat on the bed and continued to read, waiting impatiently for Rin to return.

As Rin walked down the old sidewalk, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and tapped the button, lighting the screen. A new message symbol blinked with Haru’s contact name beside it. Rin felt a wave of guilt. He’d been so wrapped up in staring at Nitori that he’d forgotten to text Haru. He typed a fast apologetic message, throwing in a lame excuse to top it off. He knew Haru would see through it, but Rin also knew that Haru would probably say, “It’s fine,” like he always did.

 _Haru_. Rin thought of him deeply as he walked. He thought of the way Haru kissed him a week ago, their lips pressed together, mumbling things in-between breaths. He remembered how Haru breathed out three words in Rin’s ear while they fucked.

_“I love you.”_

Rin pretended not to hear them, but he did. He could still hear it echoing in his head but something didn’t sit right. He felt guilty for not reciprocating, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t sure if he loved Haru. Rin was saving those words; he didn’t want to say them unless he was entirely sure he meant them. 

He thought of Nitori. Whoever Nitori had eyes for, he loved them. He’d told Rin so. Rin frowned, “But how can you love someone you’re not even dating…?” He muttered under his breath. He guessed it was possible, just unusual. Then again, Nitori wasn’t very average. Being able to love someone like that was just how he was with his strong and unrepressed emotions. In a way, Rin envied Nitori. All Rin ever did was put on masks and poorly thought out excuses to drown out how he really felt. An example being of how he pretended to not hear Haru confess, rather than explain himself.

Rin finally happened across a restaurant, and ordered food for himself and Nitori.  Luckily, he had a general idea of what Nitori liked so it was easy to place the order. Not too long after that, the food was handed to Rin in a bag, and he began to walk back to the hotel, mind a wild mess of thoughts. 

When he opened the door to the hotel room, Rin heard the muffled sounds of the shower behind the small bathroom door. It was about seven, a little early for a shower, but Nitori probably just got bored of waiting around. Rin set the bag on the small desk and sat on the bed.

Then he heard it.

Rin wasn’t even entirely sure he was hearing anything at all, but then it was a little louder. He could hear someone singing, but he wasn’t sure where it was coming from. With a suspicious glance at the bathroom, he got up and snuck close to it, listening for the voice. Sure enough, Nitori’s light voice was carrying a melody Rin didn’t recognize softly to himself. It wasn’t the best singing Rin had ever heard, but it made him feel warm, and he liked the way it sounded. Rin had never heard Nitori sing in the shower, or anywhere really, but he probably only ever did when Rin wasn’t around.

Reluctantly, Rin pulled himself away from the bathroom, willing himself to stop being ‘weird.’ He decided to eat his food while he waited for Nitori, turning on the TV. There wasn’t much on except for more news or some awful television dramas, so he settled for news. A few minutes later, the shower was off, but he still heard Nitori humming. Rin did his best to focus on the news, which was proving to be difficult because it was boring and whatever Nitori was humming was so much more interesting.

Nitori suddenly stopped humming and opened the bathroom door. He had a large white towel wrapped around his waist, and a smaller towel over his shoulders from drying his hair. When he saw Rin, he gasped, “Senpai?? When did you get back? Um, hold on- I just- Let me go put on some clothes!” Nitori floundered and grabbed his bag before nearly running to the bathroom. Rin stared at the door dumbly, for a few moments before Nitori came back out, this time fully dressed and pink-cheeked. 

Filled with sheer embarrassment, Nitori managed to speak first. “Er, did you just come back?”

Rin seemed nonchalant. “I got back about ten minutes ago. There’s some food for you in the bag.” Nitori nodded and went to it, hoping to drown his mortification in eating. Miserably, Nitori realized that Rin had probably heard him singing, but he wasn’t going to bring it up. Unless Rin asked about it, it was like it didn’t happen at all. When they finished eating, Rin stuffed the trash in the bag the food came from and then dropped it in the small trash can. 

Nitori watched Rin move, trying to see if there was any change in him from earlier. Rin seemed clouded, deep in his thoughts, and his face was contorted into a mix of pouting and frowning. Nitori took a deep breath and started to prod as Rin returned to the bed. “Hey, senpai… Is everything all right?” 

Rin glanced at Nitori for a few moments before speaking, “Ah, yeah. I’m just… Sorting through some stuff in my head is all.” He rubbed his neck with his palm nervously. So he wasn’t ready to talk about whatever it was.

“Okay.” Nitori smiled sweetly, “I was just making sure.” If Rin didn’t want to let Nitori in yet, he wouldn’t force him to.

The rest of the evening was quiet, until Nitori finally decided to go to sleep. He got under the thick duvet and somewhat curled up on his side, back to Rin, as close to edge as he could get without feeling like he was going to fall off.

Rin lifted an eyebrow, “Hey, you’re going to fall off in the middle of the night. You can move closer.” His voice came out as a grumble, using that forced-aloof tone.

“O-oh, I didn’t even notice!” Nitori lied and scooted back, a couple inches closer to Rin. He tried to contain his blush as Rin got under the blanket as well after he turned off the light. Rin shuffled around for a moment as he got comfortable, and Nitori’s heart was restless the whole time. Eventually though, sleepiness overcame him, and he fell asleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just about finished this fic- I'm almost done with chapter 10! So I might upload one chapter per day until it's all posted ;) But for now, here's another. Don't worry loves, Rin and Ai will be together soon!


	5. Chapter 5: Enlisting in Some Special Help

The next morning would have been peaceful as well, if the circumstances were different. Nitori jumped awake at the sound of his alarm, and noticed immediately the situation he was in. Rin was laying on his front, with one arm strewn over Nitori’s torso. Nitori, in turn, was on his side, curled up as close as possible to Rin, their bodies pressed against each other. 

Both of them lurched apart at the same time. Nitori turned away and fumbled with his phone to stop the blaring alarm, and Rin muttered something about the bathroom and disappeared behind the door. With a hot face and a racing heart, Nitori decided to ignore that even happened and start packing up his things for the tournament. He made sure his swim suit, cap, and goggles were stuffed in his duffle bag neatly, along with a towel.

Meanwhile, Rin was in the bathroom recovering from the incident. He was very put off by the pace of his heart and the near buzzing feeling in his head. He went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. _Stop thinking about this. Just focus on swimming for now._ He told himself over and over. After another moment, Rin left the bathroom. From the looks of it, Nitori had just changed into his sweat pants and jacket, cheeks still stained a pink shade. Somewhat ignoring his roommate, Rin made sure his bag had everything he needed inside.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Nitori excused himself. Once inside, he inspected himself in the mirror. His hair was somewhat sticking up here and there, but that was easily fixed with some water. Looking at himself, Nitori’s face went serious. He had to get Rin out of his head just long enough to do well in his event; he had a lot to prove, after all. “Just make it to finals.” He whispered to himself.

By the time Nitori left the bathroom, it was time for the team to get on the bus and ride to the school where the tournament was being held. The captain checked them in while the rest headed  to the changing rooms. Rin lost track of Nitori at some point, but didn’t pay much attention to it. He found him again on the bleachers, already wearing his swim suit and jacket. “I saved you some room next to me, Rin-senpai.” He said excitedly, gesturing to the open space beside him. 

“Ah, thanks.” Rin nodded and sat, eyes scanning the people around. Just as he was about to say something to Nitori, he felt his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket. He had a message from Gou. “My sister is here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Nitori nodded, and then Rin left to find his little sister. She had come alone this time to see Rin. _Gou is smart about things like that… So maybe_ she _would guess who Ai is in love with…._ Rin thought to himself as he walked around to find her.

Moments later, he heard her familiar voice behind him, “Rin!! Over here!” He turned around and greeted her with a casual wave. “It’s a shame Haruka-senpai couldn’t make it. But don’t worry- I’m here to cheer you on.” She smiled proudly.

Rin couldn’t help but smile back at her, “Yeah, thanks.” He started to walk back in the direction of the bleachers with her. 

Gou looked up at her brother, “What’s going on in your head?”

She knew him well, too well. “Er… Actually I need a favor, sort of.” Gou lifted her eyebrows; now she was even more interested. “Okay, well Ai’s been, like I don’t know, upset recently or for a while really, and I’m having a hard time figuring everything out so, I thought I would ask you, because you’re a girl, and you’re probably way better at this kind of stuff, and…”

“Oh come on, Rin. Just spit it out.” Gou sighed and elbowed her brother.

Rin sighed back, “Okay, okay… So the problem is, is that he’s in love with someone, but they’re with someone else. He told me he would tell me who it was if I guessed right, but… I can’t think of anyone.”

Lifting a delicate hand to her chin, Gou thought. “Do you have any clues?”

“It’s a guy in my year, an athlete, someone I know, and who’s been with someone else for about a month now, I guess. Or longer.” Rin frowned.

“Well obviously you’re on the list of possible people. But don’t worry Rin-chan, I’ll get to work.” Gou winked at him, and Rin thought that maybe he might come to regret asking her for help. Soon, though, they were back to the bleachers to watch the first few events. Nitori greeted Rin’s sister politely, and then smiled at his senpai. He seemed a bit more at ease, and in turn that relaxed Nitori.

Nitori watched the other swimmers closely, occasionally making a comment to Rin over Gou’s swoons. Not too much after that, it was time for Rin and Nitori to go to the lower levels, waiting for their turn. The freestyle heats were next. Rin still competed in the one hundred meter freestyle, and Nitori was just after him with the four hundred meter race.

While he stood near the pool with Rin, Nitori closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _Focus. Swim fast._ He told himself. _Make Rin proud._ The thought came unwarranted in his mind, but there was a fire ignited. Suddenly, Nitori felt ready.

“Don’t worry.” Rin told him, snapping his goggles on over his cap the way he always did. Nitori’s stomach erupted into butterflies and nerves, and he nodded. 

“Good luck, Rin-senpai.” He called as Rin stepped close to the starting block, dropping his jacket in a tub. He just waved Nitori off and stepped on with the other swimmers. Nitori knew full well that Rin would beat them, but he still cheered him on. He watched as Rin seemed to slice through the water with grace and power until he finally reached the end, palms slamming against the wall of the pool victoriously. “Great job, as always, senpai.” Nitori told him as he held out his hand at the edge of the pool, grinning.

For the second time ever, Rin took Nitori’s hand to help him out of the water. In some strange way, Nitori felt invincible.  He handed Rin a towel before removing his jacket and putting on his cap. Next were his goggles, which he tightly secured to his face. 

As he watched Nitori, Rin could sense that he was nervous. “You can do it.” The redhead told him, patting him on the back. 

Rin’s damp hand against Nitori’s bare back almost made him shiver, “Th-thanks, senpai.” He stretched his arms for a moment and then stepped onto the starting block, arching his back, waiting for the race to start. He glanced back at Rin, upside down, and noticed that Rin was still there, watching. Nitori’s heart surged, and short seconds after that, the race started. Nitori’s legs pushed off of the block and he cut into the water. He propelled himself quickly, and soon found himself pushing off of the wall. _Just back and forth one more time now,_ He reminded himself when he kicked off of the wall below the starting block. He didn’t know what place he was in, just trying to go as fast as possible.

Watching from the sidelines, Rin was surprised to see Nitori take the lead after the third turnaround. As Nitori swam toward the finish, Rin held his breath in suspense. Nitori was in the lead by a comfortable distance, but that didn’t mean he was going to win.

Nitori kept pushing himself, faster, faster. Through his goggles, he saw that the wall was just feet away. He closed his eyes and stretched out a hand. Seconds later, his palm touched the rough surface, claiming the wall. He tossed his head out of the water, gasping for air.

He started to take off his cap and goggles, but was interrupted. “ _The swimmer from Samezuka Academy in lane three, Nitori Aiichirou, takes first place with a time of…_ ” The announcer’s voice was lost in Nitori’s ears when Rin rushed up to the side of the pool. The look on his face nearly made Nitori cry; he looked so proud and so happy for him. Nitori’s heart nearly stopped at the sight.

Then, he held out his hand. Nitori stared at it dumbly for a second before grasping it tightly, crawling out of the water. “Ai, that was great! I’ve never seen you swim like that.” Rin told him, amazed. Nitori blushed and let go of Rin’s hand to grab a towel. 

“I can’t believe I won,” Nitori whispered once his face was dry. “Rin-senpai!! I won!!” He shouted, feeling the realization run through him. He did it, and he was going to finals.

Rin laughed, “Yeah, I know you won. I saw it happen.”

“Oh my gosh,” Nitori breathed as he dried himself off. “I won.” Rin rolled his eyes and handed Nitori his jacket.

“Come on, champ. Let’s get out of the way.”

Nitori blushed wildly, “Champ!? Senpai, I’m not a _champ-_ I only got first in my heat. I mean, _you’re_ the champ, but certainly not _me_ …” Nitori babbled shyly as Rin steered him away from the pool. They went to change, Nitori running for a stall before Rin had a chance to question it. Once they were both out of their wet swim suits, they returned to the bleachers. Both of them were congratulated by their teammates and Gou, who mainly squealed about muscles; she even made a comment about Nitori. 

Nitori was still in awe; he had never gotten first in a race.

Rin kept looking at him, loving Nitori’s euphoric face. It was a nice change of pace, seeing as he’d been fairly sullen. His light blue eyes were alive and shining, his smiles reaching them. Rin found himself in a good mood because of how happy his roommate was. 

The rest of the tournament went well for the Samezuka team. When they got back to the hotel, Nitori was exhausted. “I’m going to take a shower.” He told Rin, digging his pajamas out of his bag. Rin nodded and flopped down on the bed. While Nitori showered, he kept reliving his victory. He also kept reliving that moment when he saw Rin’s face. Nitori wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Rin look that happy for him. Nitori _was_ sure that he himself had never been happier, and a lot of it had to with his redhead roommate.

Meanwhile, Rin listened to the shower and stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t seem to wipe Nitori’s cute little excited face out of his mind. Just before he could dig into his thoughts, his phone chimed. With a  groan, he sat up and checked it, somewhat relieved to see the message was from Gou.

“ _Hey. So I was doing a lot of thinking about your problem today. I’m 99% sure I have figured it out. (¬‿¬)”_

Rin typed back a quick response: “ _And?”_

A few minutes later, Gou’s reply buzzed in his hand. “ _It’s you. It’s gotta be you. It can’t possibly be anyone else.”_ Somehow, Rin didn’t feel surprised. This only secured what he already knew deep in his mind. Impatiently, Gou sent him another message. “ _What are you going to do about it?”_

Rin wasn’t sure. “ _Nothing yet.”_ He sent back. Glancing at the shower, Rin felt somewhat guilty. He felt like he should be perturbed, being that he was dating Haru and whatnot. Briefly, he imagined what it would be like to be with Nitori. Rin became more alarmed when was into that idea. 

Haru and Nitori were so different, it was hard to really compare them. Nitori was everything Haru wasn’t, emotionally speaking. While Haru internalized his emotions, Nitori’s ran wild. Haru didn’t really talk much, and when he did it was usually sarcastic remarks. Nitori could talk for a thousand days without repeating himself. Nitori was adorable, and Haru was more handsome. Nitori never made Rin doubt himself. Nitori did the opposite, really. He made Rin feel like he could walk on water if he really wanted to.

Another message from Gou vibrated, “ _Well, you know I just want you to be happy! That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. So… Act wisely._ ” Rin sighed, trying to keep in a blush.

“ _I know. Thanks Gou.”_

_“It’s Kou!”_

Rin rolled his eyes, and then locked his phone. He stared up at the ceiling, listening as the water shut off. He pictured Nitori drying off with one of the cheap hotel towels, rubbing it all over his naked body to get dry. _Fuck_ , Rin cursed at himself. That was the last thing he needed to imagine. But it was too late; the image of Nitori’s bare ass being rubbed with a fluffy white towel was stuck in Rin’s brain. With a groan, Rin rolled over on his side, getting under the blankets. He decided to fake being asleep. There was no way he could look at Nitori right after imagining what his butt would look like in the most inappropriate way possible.

Nitori stepped out of the steamy bathroom, turning off the light behind him. He looked at the bed, mildly surprised to see his roommate already sleeping. With a soft hum, he turned off the main light and crawled into bed beside Rin. Still sitting up, Nitori looked at Rin’s form, his broad shoulders and strong back being most of what he could see since Rin’s face was away from him. His dark red hair was somewhat messy, like it normally was, but that was how Nitori liked it. 

Tentatively, Nitori reached over and carefully ran his fingertips through a couple locks. He held his breath, worried Rin would wake up. He didn’t move, so Nitori’s fingers pushed a little deeper, running through the coarse locks with a little more bravery. His heart raced, but he willed himself to stop, pulling back his hand reluctantly and laying down, back to Rin.

Rin wasn’t sure what to think, and he wasn’t quite sure why his heart was suddenly so alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rin and Nitori... I just keep making their lives a series of awkward moments.
> 
> Enjoy <3


	6. Chapter 6: Let's Talk About Love

The next morning, Nitori woke to the sound of his alarm. After tapping his phone to stop the noise, he stretched, noticing he was alone in the bed. The side Rin had been lying in was empty, sheets disheveled as if they were tossed away in a hurry. Nitori sleepily glanced to the bathroom, seeing the light shining through the space at the bottom. He could also hear the shower running. _He probably woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep,_ Nitori assumed as he pulled himself out of bed. As he got his things ready for the day, he remembered the day before. He knew that he was lucky to have won his heat, and didn’t really expect to win the finals round. He would try his hardest, however. 

Nitori waited as patiently as he could for Rin to get out of the shower, but found it difficult to do when he needed to use the restroom. He tiptoed over to the bathroom door, preparing to knock. His knuckles stopped just before the painted surface, halted by a sound.

Through the rhythmic falling of water, Nitori heard a groan. 

Of course, Nitori had heard Rin make a myriad of different sounds including groans, but _this_ groan was something else entirely. It was somewhat restrained, obviously trying to keep it in. But the sound must have slipped out of Rin’s lips. Nitori’s face blushed completely red, and he stepped back. His mind was barraged with images he really didn’t need to imagine at that moment, and he blushed even harder. To make matters worse, he felt the sensation of being aroused begin to grow in his stomach. Panicked, Nitori stumbled farther away from the door, shoving all of his things into his bag. He checked the time; they had twenty minutes until they needed to be out of their room. He tried to think of a million other things, anything but Rin.

Nitori waited for what felt like an eternity for the shower to turn off. He heard the squeak of the knob being turned and let out a sigh. He had mostly calmed down from overhearing Rin, but he was also trying to forget it even happened by thinking about the tournament. 

Meanwhile, Rin was feeling tormented. First, he’d woken up with an erection, and second, while he was getting rid of said erection, he couldn’t get Nitori out of his head. “What is happening to me?” He sighed quietly, running the towel through his thick red hair. Once he was dry and dressed, Rin walked out of the bathroom. He saw Nitori sitting on the edge of the bed, bag beside him, poking at his phone distractedly. Rin cleared his throat, “‘Morning, Ai.”

Nitori seemed to jump, “G-good morning senpai!” Rin looked at him curiously. His roommate seemed wound up about something, and his face was somewhat flushed. 

“Nervous about your race?” Rin asked casually, picking up his back and stuffing his things inside of it. 

“Um… Yes, a little actually.” Nitori glanced down at his hands in his lap, and Rin felt a little guilty for asking about it.

“Well I’m sure you’ll do good. Just swim like you did yesterday and hey, you might even win. I mean, it’s not like you can’t do it. Um… You’re a good swimmer, Ai.” Rin wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore, but seeing Nitori’s face light up was worth it.

Nitori smiled widely, “You think?” Rin simply nodded in response. This reassured Nitori immensely, and also took his mind off of his previous issue. The two of them picked up their bags and left their room. Since they wouldn’t be returning to the hotel, they were all having to turn their keys into Mikoshiba. Just before they got on the bus, Rin was pulled aside by the captain. Nitori looked with a curious expression, but got on the bus anyways. Of course, he saved the seat beside him for Rin.

A few moments after everyone else, Rin and the captain got on the bus. Rin sat beside Nitori, and then they were on their way. Nitori’s stomach twisted nervously as he mentally prepared himself for his race. Rin must have noticed how tense he was. He gently nudged Nitori with his elbow, “Relax.” He told him. Nitori nodded, refraining from blushing. He never quite noticed it before, but Rin was always looking out for him. He would never admit it of course, but he was always making sure that Nitori was okay. 

Briefly, Nitori was comforted by this, but it was soon pushed aside by the reminder of Haru. Rin was typing on his phone, and Nitori assumed he was talking to his boyfriend. With a soft sigh, Nitori turned and watched the town fly by through the window. Without fail, Haru was always coming around to steal the bits and pieces of happiness Rin gave to Nitori.

The team arrived at the tournament before Nitori could really get into his sadness about Haru and Rin. They all exited the bus and started walking in.  
“Yo, Nitori!” Mikoshiba called. Nitori stopped and looked up at him.

“Yes?” Rin stopped beside him.

The captain smiled, “Hamasaki had to leave because of a family emergency or something, so you’re taking his place in the relay. I trust you can manage a breast stroke.”

Nitori’s mouth fell open, “M-me? Why me?”

With a laugh, Mikoshiba clapped Rin’s back, “Matsuoka suggested you because you did good yesterday - so why not!” Nitori glanced at Rin with wide eyes. It almost looked like he was blushing, but Nitori was too surprised to think about that. He thanked the captain and walked away with Rin, nearly buzzing. He was also very nervous, but he was feeling a rush of confidence.

When the duo sat on the bleachers, Nitori smiled at Rin, “Thanks, senpai.” Rin glanced at Nitori and then glanced away, his face turned into the feelings mask he liked to put on, even though a hint of pink leaked through.

“No problem.” 

Rin’s reluctance to show anything somewhat bothered Nitori, but he tried not to dwell on it. He kept reminding himself that Rin would let him know how he was feeling when he was ready, so Nitori would just have to wait. Nitori sighed quietly, wishing Rin would be more open. But then again, if Rin were more open, Nitori would probably hear more about his relationship with Haru than he cared for. Still, Nitori couldn’t help but sense that something was bothering Rin deeply. Briefly, Nitori began to worry that Rin was slipping away from him, like he was regressing to the way he used to treat Nitori.

That fear was wiped away, though, when Rin glanced over at Nitori and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if he was okay. Feeling a bit comforted, Nitori smiled back, to which Rin responded with the most minute twitch of his lips before turning back to the pool. Reassured that Rin wasn’t going to starting giving him the perpetual cold shoulder again, Nitori looked to watch whichever event was currently commencing as well. 

With each passing minute, Nitori grew more and more nervous.  Rin could nearly feel the anxiety radiating from him. About half an hour before they were due down by the pool, Rin grabbed Nitori’s shoulder. “Let’s walk around a bit.”

“Um, okay.” Nitori followed Rin away from the bleachers and down a fairly empty hall. They didn’t speak, and Rin walked with his hands in his pockets. Now that he’d gotten himself alone with Nitori, he wasn’t even sure of what he was doing. He could feel Nitori’s questioning eyes on him, like he had all morning.

Rin rubbed his neck, “I just wanted to get away from the noise.” He muttered. He stopped and sat on a bench, staring at the floor. Nitori still stood beside him.

“Senpai…” Nitori started, hesitating. Rin glanced up at him, eyes taking in his roommate’s troubled face as he stared at his shoes. “Is everything okay?” His voice was soft, careful, speaking in a way that seemed like he thought if he talked too loudly that Rin would blow up.

Sighing, Rin nodded and admitted quietly, “Yeah… I just… There’s some stuff confused in my head, some things I need to sort through.” Nitori glanced up at him, and their eyes connected, shooting some nonverbal message neither of them could decipher.

For the first time ever, Nitori felt the urge to tell Rin that he loved him. Nitori had always thought it in his head, but never had the words been dancing on the tip of his tongue. “U-um, well okay. Just, um, let me know if you want to talk about it, all right?” Nitori floundered for words.

Rin gave him a smirk-y smile, “Yeah. Thanks for always checking up on me, Ai.”

Nitori couldn't help but blush, “Oh- Um, it’s no big deal! I mean we’re friends! That’s what friends do for each other!” He topped on a nervous laugh, and Rin rolled his eyes, amused. Nitori was feeling better and sat beside Rin on the bench, their shoulders just a few inches apart. Their closeness made Nitori’s heart do little flips in his chest, but he tried to ignore it. He wondered if there would ever be a time when Rin wouldn’t do that to him. He wondered if he would ever move on to someone else.

More importantly, he wondered if Rin would love anyone besides Haru, specifically himself but he wasn’t going to get his hopes up. Before Nitori had the chance to ask, it was time for them to report to the pool. 

He was walking beside Rin when the redhead dropped back behind him, grabbing his shoulders. Nitori made a confused noise but shut his mouth when Rin’s fingers started rubbing his tense muscles. Nitori could have died and gone to heaven in the middle of that hallway, blushing the whole way to the golden gates. “Don’t worry about your race. No matter what place you get, you still made it to finals, and that’s much better than you ever hoped for right?” Rin reassured him with a light and nonchalant tone.

Nitori nodded, “R-right.”

“And if you get behind in the relay, I’m going right after you, so I’ll pick it up for us.” Nitori couldn’t see Rin’s face, but he felt like he was grinning. They walked out to the pool together, ready for their races.

“Thanks, Rin-senpai.” Nitori breathed as Rin’s hand’s slid off of his shoulders. Once again, he felt comforted and also mildly agitated by the usual feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He watched Rin take off his jacket and hand it to him, putting on his cap after that. Rin’s race would be starting in just a few moments. Nitori continued to watch as Rin pulled on his goggles, snapping the back strap like he always did. Why he did, Nitori never knew, but he thought it was strange. _Surely it hurts?_ Nitori pondered as he watched Rin step onto the starting block, bending over just like he was trained to.

As the race started, Nitori watched in pure adoration. Rin had always been an amazing swimmer, but lately he’d been even more spectacular. Now, he had life coursing through him. Nitori could only ever dream of swimming like Rin did. Even so, he watched the boy he loved swim gracefully, yet powerfully, to the end of the race, winning and surprising no one. Nitori rushed up to the edge of the pool to help Rin out. Rin took his hand, which Nitori still wasn’t accustomed to. 

“Great job as always, senpai! I knew you would win.” Nitori chirped excitedly, handing Rin a towel. Rin rolled his eyes, used to Nitori’s over-generous praise. As Rin dried off, the two of them watched the two hundred meter race, Nitori’s stomach churning in anticipation. Rin gave him a silent glance of reassurance just as the race finished. Nodding, Nitori took a deep breath and took off his jacket, handing it to his roommate. He stretched a bit, loosening his shoulders, before pulling on the tight cap and goggles.

As he stood on the starting block, hunched over, Nitori felt confident, for once. He knew that he was also still very anxious, but he felt better knowing that Rin was there on the side lines, watching proudly. A voice called out, and then a synthetic bell chimed, urging the racers to dive into the pool. At first, Nitori fell back, having a slower stroke than the others.

Rin watched all of the lanes closely as they reached the first turnaround. Nitori was behind but not by too much of a distance. If he pushed, he could make it up. However, Rin knew Nitori was likely saving any push he had left in him for the last leg. Nitori cut through the water with his hands, and Rin noticed his technique had been getting better. He had been practicing his heart out, so maybe it was all paying off.

Nitori pushed off of the wall closest to Rin, halfway done. He wasn’t last anymore, slowly closing the distance between himself and first place. As he swam, Nitori wasn’t sure exactly what place he was in or how he was doing at all, but he was doing his best. When he got to the last wall, he put more effort than normal into his kick, pushing himself off harder. 

Breath caught in his throat, Rin watched, suddenly anxious. Nitori was actually picking up some speed, and he continued to, he could place third or second. Rin’s hands clenched as each of the swimmers got closer to the finish, eyes stuck on Nitori’s lane.

He was not first or second, but Nitori’s palms were the third set to hit the wall. He jerked his head out of the water, gasping for air. His lungs burned from his muscles working harder than they were used to. He was grateful when he saw Rin’s red hair appear over the edge, hands held out for him. Taking them gently, Nitori allowed himself to be helped by Rin, who was giving him a toothy grin. Nitori still hadn’t caught his breath, nor let go of Rin’s hands. Rin’s palms were warm and damp against Nitori’s.

“How… How did I do?” Nitori asked, abruptly letting go of Rin and jerking his head to look at the board. When he saw a orange three beside his name, his mouth fell open, “Third!?” His voice was shocked, turning back to Rin once more.

“Mm. Great job.” Rin was still grinning as he handed Nitori a towel. Quickly, he dried off and put his jacket on, stuffing his goggles and cap into one pocket.

As they walked back up to the bleachers, Nitori softly sighed, “I’m tired now.” His heart still felt somewhat agitated, perhaps from the race or from something else entirely.

Rin clicked his tongue, “Well rest up. You’ve got about two hours until the medley relay.” Nitori nodded determinedly. 

“Don’t worry, senpai! I’ll be fine!”

The two returned to the bleachers and greeted Gou, who had shown up just in time to see their freestyle races. She congratulated them both on their races and their muscles; Rin just rolled his eyes at her with a snort. He wouldn’t show it to her, but he was happy that she had come to the tournament. He turned his attention to the pool, watching the other races closely. Mainly, he was trying to actively focus on something that wasn’t Nitori, and that task was proving to be difficult. 

Since there was limited space on the bleachers, everyone sat as close as possible. Gou was on Rin’s right, and Nitori squished to his left, their shoulders pushed against each other’s. To make matters worse, Gou was meddling by giving Rin and Nitori meaningful looks the whole time. Rin tried his best to block her out.

When it was finally time for the relay, Rin was happy to escape his sister’s gaze. He walked down to the pool with Mikoshiba, Nitori, and another team member he didn’t really know that much. The captain would be starting the race, and Rin would finish it, just after Nitori. The four of them stood in a line, each stretching the way they personally liked to.

Nitori was unusually quiet, nerves rolling through his body. Rin kept reminding him that it would be okay, but he still felt a bit apprehensive. The other teams intimidated him, too. As the race started, he watched Mikoshiba launch himself backward into the water. He was soon done with his leg of the race, the other team mate jumping in to continue. So far, they were still in the lead.

Nitori stepped up on the starting block, crouching over, readying himself to dive the moment his teammate’s hands touched the wall. When he did, Nitori dove. He moved his arms as fast as he could, cutting his way through the water. The breast stroke wasn’t his best, but he assumed it wasn’t too awful. Like he did in the freestyle race, he kicked off with more force at the turnaround, giving himself a boost.

Meanwhile, Rin had assumed his spot on the starting block, eyes fixed on Nitori, waiting for the moment. He had a little bit of distance to make up, but nothing that he couldn’t handle. As soon as Nitori made it to the end, Rin dove in over him. He propelled himself masterfully, easily gaining back the lead.

Now that he had pulled himself out of the pool, Nitori could watch Rin swim. It was over fast, though. Rin didn’t waste any time in winning. The crowd cheered, with especially loud chants from the Samezuka group. Nitori held out a hand for Rin, smiling. 

“I told you not to worry.” Rin teased the younger as he yanked off his goggles and cap. Nitori gaped at him and then pouted, cheeks a light pink.

Handing Rin a towel, Nitori just nodded. Truly, he was just feeling relieved that he hadn’t ruined the whole thing for the team. After they had changed, the team waited for their medals, and then loaded the bus to head home.

Nitori, at some point during the ride, had dozed off, leaning his head against Rin’s shoulder. At first, Rin had frozen solid and a blush creeped onto his face. He looked at Nitori’s face and found himself relaxing. Nitori’s face was peaceful, his mouth just slightly open as he softly breathed. His slightly round cheek was squished against Rin’s shoulder; Rin could barely admit it to himself, but Nitori was adorable. Rin felt an instant wave of guilt. He shouldn’t be thinking of how cute his roommate was, not when he had a boyfriend. 

Once again, Rin found himself comparing the two. He sighed and stared out of the window, mixed up feelings spinning wildly through his brain. Did all of this mean he _liked_ Nitori? And what about Haru? Lately, Rin had barely even thought of his boyfriend in comparison to Nitori. But, even if Rin did like Nitori, he wasn’t sure that Nitori liked him back. With another frustrated sigh, Rin leaned his forehead against the window. He didn’t know what to do with these feelings, Nitori, or Haru. He would just continue to put it off; ignore it.

When they approached Samezuka, Rin gently nudged Nitori awake. “Hey, we’re almost back.” He said softly. Stiffly, Nitori sat up and blinked several times before he was fully awake.  

Nitori realized what position he was in and blushed madly, “Oh, um, I didn’t mean to lean on you! I’m sorry if it bothered you, senpai! I was just really tired- I didn’t even mean to fall asleep…”

“It’s fine,” Rin told him in a light tone, gaze returning to the window. Nitori’s eyebrows pulled together, wondering what was wrong. Rin definitely seemed off; normally he would have teased Nitori for falling asleep. Instead, Rin kept not really looking at him as they got off of the bus and returned to their dorm. Once inside, Nitori dug out a few push pins and hung the two medals he’d won on the wall beside his desk.

He looked at Rin, who was looking at him with one eyebrow raised. “Um, these are my first medals.  A-and this one I won with you. So… They’re special.” Nitori explained, cheeks turning a light pink as his fingertips lingered on the relay medal. Rin made a noise of acknowledgement, and Nitori turned to look at him, hands falling to his sides. “Um… I don’t mean to be pushy, Rin-senpai, but… Is everything okay? I mean you haven’t really talked to me much… So, I-I’m just worried…” He bit his lip, waiting for Rin to blow up on him for asking.

Instead of yelling, Rin just looked tired as he ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah, I don’t know how to explain it, but don’t feel like I’m mad at you or anything. It’s just me.” He sighed and sat on his bed.

Stepping closer, Nitori asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rin was silent for a moment, “… Haru told me he loved me.” Nitori’s stomach twisted painfully as he sat beside Rin on the bed. Of course it was about Haru.

“And?”

“And I pretended to not hear him.”

Nitori frowned; that didn’t make sense. “Why?”

With a sigh, Rin explained. “It just… Didn’t feel right for me to say it back. And I didn’t want to be some heartless asshole and be like ‘thanks,’ so I just… Ignored it even happened.”

“You… don’t love him?” Nitori tried his best to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice, but it was hard with his heart in his throat. He was watching Rin closely, even though Rin was just staring at his hands in his lap.

“No. I don’t.” Rin admitted. Nitori thought his heart was going to climb out of his body. He wasn’t sure what to say in response to that, but then Rin spoke once more. “How did you know that you loved whoever it is you love?”

“U-um.” Nitori’s jaw dropped, “Um… I guess… I don’t know it just sort of happens like… It got to the point of when I _saw_ him, I felt like I couldn’t breathe or…. Just being in the same place as him made me happy. I-I don’t really know how to explain it more without giving anything away…” Nitori spoke sheepishly. He wasn't even sure of what he was saying, or if it made any sense. “I guess when it happens, you just know.” Rin nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I get that…” Rin murmured, processing what Nitori had said. He wasn’t sure of much, but he was sure that he wasn’t in love with Haru. He glanced at Nitori, who’s face was almost unreadable. He seemed to be blushing, and feeling awkward as he wrung his hands together. “Thanks, Ai.” 

Nitori blushed again, “Oh, no problem, senpai.” He gave the redhead a weak smile before sliding off of his bed. His heart was still pounding in his chest, a new life in it that hadn’t been there before. For once, Nitori actually felt like he had a chance to be with Rin. For once, he wasn’t sad after hearing about Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughguhguhgguh oh my gosh you guys- y'all are all so NICE AND SWEET and make me so happy :'))) I never really expected this fic to get some much positive reactions, especially from other writers I like, so I'm just like withering away into a puddle or something... I dunno. Y'all give me life.
> 
> Thank you so so so so much, a million times over, to everyone who reads and enjoys this fic <3


	7. Chapter 7: Finally Free

A week passed, and everything seemed to return to normal. Nitori was still running his mouth and embarrassing himself in front of Rin, and Rin was still unknowingly torturing the boy’s heart. The two of them stayed later after swim practices for extra laps to help Nitori get better. It seemed to be helping, Nitori assumed, since he was more tired and sore than usual.

Nitori had just finished showering on the next Saturday morning when Rin was headed out. He was off to see Haru like normal. A bit downcast, Nitori stayed in the dorms, reading and watching a few shows, doing his best to not think of Rin and Haru. He kept reminding himself that Rin didn’t love Haru, in an attempt to make himself feel better. It didn’t help much, however.

When Rin arrived at Haru’s, the first thing he did was urge his boyfriend out of the bathtub, followed by greeting him with a kiss. Rin kissed him like he always had, but something felt off. It’d been about two weeks since they’d seen each other, so maybe that was the issue. Since Rin had gotten parental permission to be outside of the dorms overnight, he was going to spend the night with Haru.

“I missed you.” Rin told him in between kisses.

“You too,” Haru murmured, bringing his hands up to run his fingers through the red locks of Rin’s hair. The memory of Nitori’s fingers in Rin’s hair pushed into his mind, but he tried to forget it. Haru was right here in front of him, so he needed to quit thinking of his roommate. The two spent the day together, kissing a lot in between various activities. The more Rin thought about it, they didn’t really do much _besides_ kiss or have sex, and that idea somewhat unsettled him.

The day dragged on until the couple laid naked in Haru’s bed, comfortably wrapped around each other.

Meanwhile, Nitori paced around his shared bedroom nervously, phone clenched in his hand. It was later than normal, almost midnight, and he still hadn’t heard from Rin. He’d sent a text message asking when Rin would be back, but there was still no answer. Nitori’s heart sank into his stomach as he stared at Rin’s phone number. _He said it was all right to call…_

Nitori took a deep breath and pushed the call button, nervously holding the phone to his ear. It rang several times, but Rin picked up just before the voice mail machine did. “Ai?”

“H-hey, Rin-senpai, I was just calling you to make sure you were okay… Where are you?” Nitori’s free hand twisted the hem of his shirt.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? I’m signed out until tomorrow, so I’m at Haru’s house.” _Oh._

Nitori’s heart sank even deeper and a familiar lump rose in his throat, “Oh… No, I didn’t know.” He nearly whispered, eyes closed tightly.

Rin paused, “Is everything all right?” Nitori said nothing as a tear slipped from one eye. “Ai?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Don’t worry about m-me.” His voice broke, shattering any cover he had. He panicked, hanging up just as Rin started to say something else. He set his phone down on his desk, covering his face with his hands, “Stupid, stupid, stupid…” He mumbled, sniffling. He sat on Rin’s bed as the sadness washed over him; all the hope he’d built up from their conversation earlier that week was ripped away. Of course Rin would still be with Haru, whether he loved him or not. He wasn’t going to magically break up with him and confess some sudden, undying love for Nitori.

Nitori didn’t want to cry, but it was happening and the tears just wouldn’t stop. He gave up, laying on Rin’s bed and crying into his familiar-smelling pillow. 

Rin, meanwhile, fought with Haru as he pulled on his clothes to leave. “He’s my best friend, Haru, and obviously something is wrong. I’m sorry, but I need to go back.” Haru was brooding, looking at Rin with a perturbed flat face.

“Fine.”

Rin sighed, exasperated, “It’s not fine, Haru. I know that, so I wish you would just stop doing that! It’s like you don’t feel anything at all! Ever! I’m _tired_ of trying to decipher how you feel okay!? Now again, I’m sorry. But I just really need to go make sure my friend is okay. I don’t have time to deal with this okay?” Haru said nothing as Rin picked up his bag and stormed out. Of course, it was raining, but that didn’t matter to Rin. He was angry with Haru for trying to keep him there, and worried about Nitori, feeling guilty about not telling him he wouldn’t be back that night. 

What bothered Rin the most, however, was how sad and broken Nitori’s voice was. To him, that only confirmed what he already suspected: Nitori was in love with him. He repeated that thought as he ran through the rain. Was he really going back for Nitori as a friend? Or something more…?

Rin ran the whole way to Samezuka, unsure of what he was going to when he actually got there. He walked up to the door of their room, noticing the light was still on. Slowly, he twisted the handle and opened the door, seeing Nitori laying on his side on his bed. He took off his wet clothes and changed into dry ones as quietly as he could. Rin crept up to his sleeping roommate, noticing the wet spots on the pillow; it seemed like Nitori had only fallen asleep a few minutes ago. His nose and the skin around his eyes were red, and he looked sad, even in sleep. Gently sitting on the edge of his bed, Rin tentatively rocked Nitori’s hip. “Hey, Ai…”

Nitori stirred and then jerked awake. His mouth opened to apologize, but he stopped when he saw Rin’s face. There was this look of knowing in Rin’s eyes, paired with guilt that struck Nitori in the heart. Nitori’s throat closed up and, once more, the tears started. He sat up and pulled his knees up to his chin, hiding his face, “I’m sorry.” He blubbered softly. There was no way that Rin didn’t know his secret now. 

As he heard a sob come from Nitori, Rin looked at him, his chest going tight. Instinctively, he scooted closer, putting his arms around his roommate’s shaking form. “It’s okay. Please stop crying.” He rested his cheek against the top of Nitori’s head, one hand trying to calm him by rubbing his back.

“W-why did you come back?” Nitori asked quietly, still not showing his face.

“I was worried.” Rin admitted; Nitori involuntarily sucked in a breath, shoulders shaking. “I’m sorry.” He said, quietly.

Slowly, Nitori uncurled his body, arms going around Rin’s chest tightly. “Why are you sorry?” His face was hidden in Rin’s shirt.

Rin sighed, pulling back a little to see Nitori’s face, holding it in his hands. He used his thumbs to wipe a few tears, “For… For doing this to you.” Nitori’s eyes met his, confusion apparent. 

“What… What about Nanase-san?” Nitori’s voice faltered on Haru’s name. Why was Rin here holding him? Wasn’t he with Haru just before this? A million questions churned in his head. 

“Forget about him.” Rin nearly growled bitterly, “This is about you and me.” Nitori kept looking at him like he’d grown a second head. “It’s me, right? The person you love?” Nitori’s mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. He simply nodded as two fresh tears rolled over his soft cheeks. “Come on, Ai, _please_ stop crying.” Rin asked, frowning. 

Nitori moved to wipe his cheeks, murmuring an apology. He was still confused, but he didn’t even know what to ask. He stared at Rin’s face, searching for answers. “Yes… It’s you. It’s _always_ been you.” Nitori admitted softly, eyes closing. “I’m sorry. I know we’re supposed to be just friends, and now it’s always going to be weird between us. And it’s my fault for being unable to get over you and be _normal_. I just can’t help it. I know you’re with Nanase-san and… And you don’t like me like that and…!” Nitori gasped when he felt something press against his forehead. His eyes opened wide, staring at Rin’s chin. He was kissing his forehead. Nitori’s mind went blank, but his face heated up ten degrees. “S-senpai??” 

Rin leaned back, and Nitori was sure he was blushing too. “I… I’m not exactly sure how I feel about much of anything right now, honestly. When I said I was having mixed up feelings I was talking about how I feel about you and Haru.”

“What?” Nitori asked breathlessly, heart beating faster than he ever felt it.

“I can’t get you out of my head, and it was making me frustrated. Like, I would kiss Haru and I would think about you.” Rin’s hands palms were still resting on Nitori’s face as he stared on in astonishment. Rin’s eyebrows were pulled together, mirroring his exasperated tone.

“W-what are you saying?” Nitori asked. He didn’t understand where Rin was going with this.

Looking down at his lap, Rin’s hands lowered to rest on Nitori’s knees. “I’m saying… I don’t think I want to be with Haru.” Nitori’s breath caught in his throat. He realized he’d stopped crying. He also realized Rin’s hair was wet, meaning he traveled through the rain to get back to Nitori.

“Who… Who would you rather be with?” Nitori asked bravely, heart in his throat. This was too good to be true. Surely he was dreaming after falling asleep on Rin’s bed and the smell of his pillow was making him have such an unbelievable dream.

Rin looked like he was in deep thought as he hesitated to answer. Nitori gave him space, giving him the time he needed to say what he wanted. “I…” Rin started, reaching one hand to hold one of Nitori’s, “I’m not sure but… Right now, I feel like it’s you.” Nitori sucked in a breath sharply. “I mean I’ve thought a lot about the differences between you and Haru and when I do, it’s not even like I like him at all. Like my mind just subconsciously tells me you’re better. I don’t know, I don’t know.” Rin shook his head, “I thought about it on the way here too… Haru and I don’t really have much of a relationship anyways. We’re just kind of _there,_ and I don’t feel anything. But god, Ai, you’re making me go crazy.”

“I-in a good way?” Nitori asked, his voice small, filled to the brim with disbelief. This was really happening, wasn’t it?

With a laugh, Rin nodded. “In a good way.”

After a brief moment of silence, Nitori spoke up again, “Um… So… I don’t want to seem, um, precipitous, but I don’t want you to cheat on Nanase-san. So… Um, if you really do want to be with me, I’m asking you to break up with him.” Nitori chose his words wisely. Even though Haru had been the bane of his existence, Nitori wasn’t harboring ill thoughts toward him. “If I finally get to have you… I want it to be right.” He summed up in a lighter tone.

Rin’s face turned grim, as if he hadn’t realized that he couldn’t really be with both of them. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay. Tomorrow.” Rin nodded, telling himself more than Nitori. He looked at their hands, which were still connected. His body felt like it was nearly buzzing as his brain caught up with his heart.

Nitori cleared his throat, “Um, later today. It’s almost two in the morning, senpai.” He smiled, finally freed of the weight of his heavy heart. It was hard to pull away from Rin then, but he wanted to be honest, and he didn’t want the beginning of his and Rin’s relationship to be under someone’s nose like that. Nitori stood up, and the silence was thick and a little awkward. Their relationship had changed, but it was still in the middle of it. They were in a tricky in-between space, and both Rin and Nitori were treading carefully. “Good night, senpai.” 

After Nitori had climbed up to his bunk, Rin softly bid him a good night. Nitori stared at the ceiling, head spinning. He was still somewhat in disbelief, but it was really happening. Rin was going to break up with Haru, to be with him. Nitori never thought that the time would ever come.

Rin, in turn, was staring at the bottom on Nitori’s bunk. His mind was steadier, but also filled with dread. Breaking up with Haru wasn’t going to be pleasant whatsoever. Though, it meant that he could be with Nitori, and that idea excited Rin, and gave him some drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Rin may seem like a tool, jumping so easily to Nitori, but just bear with it. Teenage relationships are hard, especially when you have no idea what you really want. I don't know what I'm saying.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy <3


	8. Chapter 8: First Kiss

The next morning, Nitori woke up, confused. He felt like he’d had the best dream. He stretched as he sat up, spotting semi-damp clothes laying on the floor. _Oh, right…_ Last night, his life had gotten a million times better. Last night, he’d laid his heart out on the line only to have it picked up by the one person he’d been desperate for. He had a small wave of fear though; Rin was going to break up with Haru, but what if he backed out? Nitori shook his head. There’s no way Rin would do that.

Nitori quietly climbed down the rails to the floor, gazing at Rin’s sleeping form. Cautiously, he tapped Rin’s shoulder. “Rin-senpai, wake up.” Rin groaned and rolled over, muttering something about wanting more sleep. Nitori sighed, “It’s already eleven.” With a yawn, Rin gave in and sat up, rubbing his face.

Unlike Nitori, Rin instantly remembered the night before. He sleepily looked up at Nitori’s face and felt a rush of excitement. Nitori was so cute, Rin thought freely. His silvery-gray hair was messed up from sleeping, and one of his cheeks was pink from sleeping on it. “Okay, okay.” Rin stretched, popping his shoulders. 

“I’m going to take a shower.” Nitori told him, turning to the dresser to dig out some clothes. Rin nodded as Nitori disappeared behind the door.

He got up and picked his phone up off of his desk. He was surprised to notice that he didn’t have any messages from Haru, but with the way he left things, he didn’t know why he was expecting anything. With a sigh, Rin started typing a message. He was tempted to just end it like that, but he knew that he should do it in person. “ _Hey, I need to talk to you. Can we meet up in town later?”_ A few minutes later, Haru responded with a time and place. Rin stomach twisted uneasily as he began to figure out what he was even going to say. Rin had wanted to break up with Haru more than he thought he did, but now that the time was coming, he was nervous.

Some time later, Nitori left the bathroom wearing fresh clothes. “I’m, uh, going to meet up with Haru in a little while.” Rin told him, trying to be nonchalant. Sleeping hadn’t changed the awkward position they were in.

“Oh, all right. Okay.” Nitori nodded almost too enthusiastically, cheeks warming. It was happening. Rin was actually going to give him a chance. “Um, good luck? I mean, I hope it goes okay? I mean, I guess it’s not really going to go okay since you’re going to break up, but I mean umm… I hope that it’s not a lot of trouble? I’m sorry.” Nitori babbled nervously. _Great_ , he thought, _now I just look stupid. Again._

But, to Nitori’s surprise, Rin just lightly laughed, “Thanks.” Rin decided to take a shower also before going to see Haru. He hadn’t showered since the day before, and he felt gross. He showered quickly and changed into jeans and a hoodie, drying his hair quickly. After he brushed his teeth, he stepped out of the bathroom to see Nitori scribbling something in a notebook. “Hey, I’m going to go now. I’ll be back soon.” He reached over and ruffled Nitori’s hair, relishing in the the silken texture. 

“O-okay. I’ll see you soon, then.” Nitori smiled at him as he sorted his hair back out. Rin nodded and left reluctantly. He decided to walk to the park that Haru suggested, rather than take a bus. This gave him more time to sort things out in his head. He didn’t want to bring up Nitori. He was breaking up with Haru because he didn’t want to be with Haru, because he didn’t love Haru, and that was it. Saying that there was ‘someone else’ would cut too deep, especially when that wasn’t really the reason why Rin was walking to that park. The reason, he’d realized, was that he needed to break up with Haru so that Haru could be happier. Rin was being a shitty boyfriend, and he knew it.   


When Rin arrived at the park, he spotted Haru sitting on a swing, gently swaying back and forth, eyes fixed on the ground in front of him. “Hey.” Rin greeted as normally as he could.

Haru looked up, “So you wanted to talk.” He wasn’t going to waste any time. He probably assumed what Rin was going to say. Haru was perceptive, and he knew Rin well.

Rin cleared his throat and sat on the swing beside Haru, “Yeah… I… I don’t love you, Haru.” He wasn’t looking, but he could sense Haru’s body tense, hands clenched in his lap. “And, I don’t want to be with you anymore. I feel shitty about it because we only just fixed things but… This is just how I feel. I feel like we aren’t as good of a match as we thought… And I don’t want you to waste your time on someone who doesn’t love you.” He saw Haru nod once in the corner of his eye, still not looking at him.

“I understand.” Haru sighed, “It was bound to happen, anyway.” His voice was murky, as if trying to mask the sadness and disappointment. Rin felt guilty, but he knew it was better this way. He couldn’t continue their relationship.

“I guess it was.” Rin replied. He glanced at Haru, who’s eyes were out of focus, staring at something Rin couldn’t see. He would probably go home and sit in the tub until Makoto came to drag him out. Haru’s hands were clenched in his lap, and he no longer gently swayed on the swing. “I’m sorry- I know it’s not fair to you.” He added on.

Haru shook his head, “You can’t make someone love you.” He spoke softly, but his voice was firm. “Okay. I’ll see you around, then.” Haru stood stiffly, hesitating to go; Rin could see the storm clouds in his eyes, feeling a light sensation of deja vu. He turned and walked away after a moment, Rin watching as he went.

Rin glanced up to the sky, which was littered with dark clouds, remnants of the rain from the night before. Breaking up with Haru had been exceptionally, surprisingly, easy. Haru wasn’t one to yell or get outwardly upset, though. He would simply brood over it for a long time. Rin felt guilty still, knowing that despite his cool exterior, Haru was suffering.  With a sigh, Rin pushed himself off of the swing, walking back to the academy. He hoped Haru would be all right. While he may not have loved Haru romantically, he did love him as he did when they were just friends, and that love would continue, even if things were awkward for some time. Rin glanced behind him, but Haru was already out of sight. 

Nitori was surprised to see Rin return so soon, but he greeted him with a happy smile. “So? How did it go?” 

Rin plopped down on his bed after taking his shoes off, “It went good, I guess. He didn’t really say much. Not like he really does anyways, but… It’s over.” 

Nitori grinned. “Um,” He paused, “What now?” He felt his cheeks flush; now that Rin was single, they could be together. Nitori didn’t want to assume that they would instantly get together, though. 

Rin thought for a moment, “Do you want to watch a movie?” He wanted to stop thinking of Haru’s overcast eyes, or how Haru was probably chin deep in his bathwater then. He wanted to stop thinking about what a huge asshole he was.

“Sure.” Nitori agreed happily, a movie was better than sitting around in awkward silence. Rin smiled and got out his laptop. He scooted over on his bed, laying on his back with the computer propped against his knees. Rin casually gestured for Nitori to lay beside him, which made him blush as he did so. He climbed into Rin’s bed, wiggling close to him now that he actually could without feeling stabs of pain in his heart. Nitori’s body felt warm, and his heart wouldn’t calm down as he leaned his head against Rin’s shoulder to get a better view of the screen. They picked a movie to stream from the internet and started watching.

Nitori found it hard to concentrate, though. Rin was so close, smelling alluring. It felt like a dream. He glanced down to one of Rin’s hands, which was resting on his stomach. Bravely, Nitori reached over with his hand, pushing his fingers in-between Rin’s. When Rin looked at him, Nitori stammered, “Um, i-is this okay?” 

Rin blushed, “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” Rin was feeling strange; his stomach practically buzzed as he memorized the feeling of Nitori’s fingers. His heart was jump-started, confusing him. Being with Haru never had been like this, not over something so simple. Rin had basically forgotten all about the movie, more concerned with the way Nitori’s body was squished against his. 

By the time the movie finished, the two of them had mostly relaxed. Nitori was comfortably leaning against the redhead, thumb brushing over Rin’s. He was in heaven. When the credits started to roll, Rin closed the laptop and set it to the side. “So,” He started, clearing his throat, staring at their hands, “I figure I should ask you properly.”

Heart suddenly pounding, Nitori raised an eyebrow, “What is it?”  He shifted to his side to see Rin’s face. 

Rin turned also, nervously looking into Nitori’s light eyes, “Would you… Like to be my boyfriend? I mean, I know it’s kind of a quick turnaround because I literally _just_ broke up with Haru but…” Rin made a noncommittal hand gesture. He kind of felt like a tool, asking Nitori out in the same day, but he couldn’t help himself. Nitori was laying right beside him, and he was just _so cute._

Being shy made Nitori love Rin even more. He laughed, “Yes, senpai.”

Rin tried to cover a smile with a playful pout, “But you’ve gotta stop calling me ‘senpai,’ all right?” Nitori nodded with a wide smile. Rin leaned closer and kissed Nitori’s forehead, just between his eyebrows, for the second time. Both of them felt like they were going to blow up. “Do-do you want to watch another movie?” Rin stammered out. Why he had suddenly lost his cool so bad was beyond him. Nitori had a strange power over him that was turning him into something like a blushing bride.

“Sure.” Nitori smiled cutely and leaned forward, softly pressing his lips to the apple of Rin’s cheek. His lips were hesitant; he’d only kissed one person and that was a little girl back in middle school, so that didn’t really count. Even still, a kiss on the cheek wasn’t a real kiss, but just the thought of kissing Rin for real made Nitori’s stomach twist in excitement. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment before Rin jerked away to pick up his laptop. Nitori was almost breathless.

The movie they picked was a musical, apparently one Rin had seen before, seeing as he halfheartedly hummed along with the songs. As the movie progressed, Nitori got more and more comfortable against Rin, laying on his side with his chest pressed along Rin, ankles tangled around each other’s.

Time was all but forgotten in the moments they spent watching the movie. They felt like they were in their own separate universe, one filled with only them. When the movie was over, Nitori sat up, rolling his shoulders a little, “Um, do you want to go get some food? It’s basically dinner time.”

Rin sat up and nodded, stretching as well, “Yeah, I’m getting pretty hungry.” They decided to just go to the academy’s cafeteria, since it was open. They sat together at a table, talking and laughing as they ate.  Not much had really changed between them in that respect, but Nitori seemed lighter, Rin thought. He seemed like he was actually enjoying himself.

Nitori was enjoying himself. He couldn’t remember a time when he was happier. Laying beside Rin, _cuddling_ with Rin was something he’d only ever fantasized about. Even as they ate dinner across from each other, Nitori was still buzzing, and he couldn’t stop smiling. His heart wouldn’t calm down; every time he looked at or felt Rin, his heart would surge. At times, it felt like his own personal earthquake nestled between his lungs.

“So, is this a date?” Rin asked coyly, sipping his water. His eyebrows were doing something that made Nitori’s knees feel weak.

Of course, Nitori blushed, nearly dropping his chopsticks, “Um, I guess so?” In his dreams, Nitori always thought of their first date as something entirely different. Though, sitting at the table, Nitori couldn’t think of a better first date. “Yes, it’s a date.” He said firmer with a smile on his lips.

A few minutes later, they finished their meals and put their dirty dishes in the receptacles. Rin walked beside Nitori to their dorm, listening to what Nitori was telling him. Rin decidedly had developed a debilitating crush on Nitori. He didn’t want to call it a crush, because that sounded silly, but that’s what it was. His stomach was perpetually in butterflies whenever Nitori moved close to him, and he couldn’t seem to get his heart under control. He tried to blame it on the fact that Nitori was adorable without even trying to be.

Rin didn’t get why Nitori had him so off guard. Something about him made Rin lose his cool so fast, turning him into a blubbering fool. Haru never made Rin feel like that, Rin noted. Their relationship didn’t kick off with such an eruption inside of him like his and Nitori’s did. Rin couldn’t seem to calm down. 

“Hey, Rin-senpai?” Nitori broke Rin’s train of thought.

“Hm?” One of Rin’s eyebrows lifted as the other one pulled down slightly. Nitori had an appreciation for how expressive Rin’e eyebrows were.

Nitori hesitated, cheeks pinkening, “Er, well, there’s not enough time for another movie before we should go to bed, so I was thinking we could go for a walk?” He smiled hopefully at Rin, melting away any chance of him declining. 

“Sure.” Nitori perked up upon hearing Rin’s answer, smiling impossibly large. Samezuka was a pretty scenic place, with several outdoor paths and courtyards, making for peaceful evening walks. 

As they walked, Nitori reached over and curled his pinky around Rin’s. There weren’t many people around, and it was getting somewhat dark, so the small amount of public affection was okay with both of them. Nitori was really just shy, and Rin was still adjusting. “So that’s why I wanted to start practicing my breast stroke.” Nitori said, summing up what he’d been telling Rin. “Of course, I still hope to be as good as you are with the free though!” He added, effectively patting Rin’s ego on the ass.

Rin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, just keep practicing, and you might get there.” He lifted his arm, draping it over Nitori’s shoulders, hand hanging close to Nitori’s chest, bringing them closer.

“You think so?” Nitori gasped, a blush creeping up his neck.

Nodding, Rin stopped walking and turned to face Nitori, hand moving to rest on the boy’s slender shoulder, “Yeah, I do, Ai. You’re way better than you seem to think. I mean, shit, you medaled last weekend, right? So that’s your proof. But, you should also take my word for it.” Nitori nodded, fully flushed. He looked into Rin’s eyes and felt like his heart was swimming. Rin’s eyes were deep, gaze meaningful, intense in a way that made Nitori’s lungs freeze.

Rin felt as if he was being pulled in by Nitori’s wide blue eyes, like they were water and he was going to dive in. He swallowed and leaned closer, eyelids lowering. Rin didn’t realize where his lips were headed until he felt Nitori suck in a gasp just before they touched. Almost instantly, Nitori’s lips pressed back, seeming to pour all of those unspoken feelings and broken hearted nights into it as Rin’s hand slid up to hold the back of his neck.

In turn, Nitori Aiichiro had never been happier. His body fell closer to Rin’s, and his hands rested on muscular waist. Rin’s lips were slightly dry, but despite that, they felt like an oasis. Their noses were a little squished together but that didn’t even matter to him. They parted what felt like was too soon, but Nitori’s lungs were calling for air. Breathlessly, he looked back into Rin’s eyes, comforted by the flush of his cheeks, proving that Rin also was heavily affected.

Nitori stared a Rin for a moment longer before he pulled back, clearing his throat, “Um, we should go back to our room.” He said, gesturing to the dorms. The sun was completely hidden then, their walkway covered in shadows. Their hands were pressed together; sweaty palms and trembling wrists sharing warmth. 

Once back inside their small room, Nitori decided to take a shower. It was hard for him to pull away from Rin, but he knew he would regret not showering in the morning. 

Rin plopped down on his bed, fishing his cell phone out of his pocket. He needed to change Haru’s contact name, and he felt like he should text Gou, since she would find out eventually. He deleted the heart symbol from Haru’s name, putting one beside Nitori’s instead. Then he texted his sister. “ _Hey, so, Haru and I broke up.”_

A few moments later, she replied, “ _Yeah, I know. Let me guess, Nitori-kun?_ ”

Rin scoffed, “ _How did you know already!? And maybe.”_

“ _Nagisa-kun told me. Makoto-senpai told him, and Haruka-senpai told Makoto-senpai. And come on, maybe? Please brother I know you better than you know yourself._ ”

Gou had him there. “ _Okay, yes, it’s Ai. But please don’t tell the other guys I’m with him already. I didn’t tell Haru. I feel kind of like a huge dick for it._ ”

“ _I understand, Rinrin. But good choice! That boy has some great adductor muscles ;)_ ”

Rin felt his face go red. He’d never particularly examined Nitori’s inner thigh muscles, but Gou was the expert; if she said they were something to look at, he would just have to see for himself at some point. “ _Uh thanks, I guess._ ” Their conversation dwindled off there, and Rin got up to plug his phone into the charger. He listened for the shower, but heard the sound of Nitori brushing his teeth instead. Suddenly, Rin found himself antsy. He wanted Nitori to hurry up and come out of the bathroom  so he could kiss him again.

The hair drier was turned on, and Rin groaned. This meant Nitori was going to be in there for even longer. Impatiently, Rin waited with his hands behind his head.  He stared longingly at the door, jumping when it finally opened.

Nitori was wearing a light blue t-shirt and short black shorts, about the length of his swim shorts he usually wore. Of course, those shorts gave Rin a good view of his inner thighs.  Rin didn’t mean to, be he stared for a moment. _Gou was right_ , he thought as blood rushed to his face. “Hey,” He managed, looking up at Nitori’s face.

“Hey,” Nitori repeated, a coy smile on his lips. He walked over to Rin, “What’s up?”

“I was just waiting for you to get out.” Rin said nonchalantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I took too long! I didn’t know you needed it.” Nitori apologized, and Rin rolled his eyes, sitting up.

“Nah, I don’t.” 

Nitori looked at him blankly. He felt somewhat like someone who’d just gotten some great gift that came without any instructions. Rin was sitting there, and he was Nitori’s, but Nitori didn’t even know what to do with him. Having been single his whole life until that day had done Nitori no favors; the only things he knew about romance were things he read about in the American books he read, which he didn’t really trust to use as a guide for his own relationship.  


It was late, but it wasn’t late enough to go to bed yet. Nitori fidgeted in front of Rin, “Um, can we cuddle?” He asked sheepishly, worrying that he would seem clingy or otherwise push Rin away. Much to his relief, Rin seemed to blush, which he tried to downplay with his ‘cool guy’ expression.

“Of course.” Rin moved to the side of his bed that was closest to the wall, making plenty of room for Nitori, getting under the blanket. Awkwardly, Nitori climbed in under the sheets as well, situating himself comfortably on Rin’s side, head resting on Rin’s shoulder. Before he got too comfortable, though, Rin turned to lay on his side, facing Nitori. 

Rin moved to kiss him, this time with obvious intent. Nitori let his eyes slip closed as their lips met, a circus of butterflies erupting inside of him. Being a little more brave, one of Nitori’s hands traveled up to rest on Rin’s jaw, effectively locking them in the kiss. They both remembered to breathe through their nose, too. When they did part, Nitori went in for a quick peck on the lips, not entirely ready for it to be over. He stared at Rin dreamily, thumb caressing his cheek.

After a moment, Nitori closed his eyes and moved closer, burrowing his face in Rin’s warm neck. “This is real, isn’t it?” He whispered lowly, one arm sliding over Rin’s side to embrace him. In turn, Rin gently rubbed Nitori’s back. 

“Yeah, it is.” Rin murmured. Briefly, he felt guilty for never noticing Nitori’s feelings. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“Mm, it’s all right. I forgive you.” Nitori replied playfully, kissing Rin’s neck. 

The feeling of Nitori’s small lips pursed against Rin’s neck unwillingly sent a shock of arousal through Rin’s body. He stopped breathing, telling his body to quit. For some reason, having sex right away didn’t seem like something Nitori would want to do. Rin realized that they should talk about it at some point, see where Nitori stood and whatnot, but he decided to wait. He squeezed his new boyfriend instead, enjoying the sound of his strained laugh when Rin squeezed too tight.

The two of them laid there, enjoying each other’s closeness, for some time, until Nitori finally managed to pull himself away to lay in his own bed. Before doing so, he gave Rin once last heavy kiss before climbing up the ladder. “Goodnight, Rin-senpai.”

“Goodnight, Ai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope that some of y'all understand Rin's feelings a bit better. He knows he's wrong, and he understands that it was shitty of him to do this to Haru.  
> In my original plans for the story, Rin was going to actually cheat on Haru with Nitori, but then I realized that wasn't really in his character to do that. Soooo, yeah.  
> Now we can get to the cute rintori stuff.
> 
> <3


	9. Chapter 9: Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the last are the "smut chapters" - I guess. So, enjoy!

A week passed, and Nitori and Rin completely adjusted to being a couple. After the third night, Nitori had abandoned his own bed to sleep in Rin’s, cramped up together. However, Nitori kept feeling like something was missing. While they would lie together and kiss, he would feel a moment when Rin seemed to pull away, like he was respecting some unspoken boundary he thought Nitori had. Of course, Nitori wanted more than just surface kisses, but he wasn’t sure how to tell Rin that. Furthermore, the idea of initiating anything new himself was intimidating. 

Friday evening, they returned to their room later than usual after some extra swim practice. Nitori showered first, thinking of what he was going to do. He wanted to get closer to Rin, and he wanted to show him that he didn’t have such high boundaries as he seemed to think. Of course, Nitori wasn’t about to have sex with him, but he at least wanted a little something more. His stomach fluttered anxiously as he scrubbed his body clean of any pool remnants. He thought about having a serious talk about it, but he wasn’t the best with words sometimes.

Then he got an idea. Rin would never expect Nitori to instigate anything like _that,_ but if he did…

Nitori’s stomach got more anxious. He finished his shower quickly, drying off and throwing on his clothes. Deciding to just towel-dry his hair, Nitori skipped using the blow drier. Before he left the bathroom, though, he hesitated at the mirror to inspect his face. His cheeks were somewhat flushed, but he thought he looked presentable. His bangs were getting a little long, but those could be dealt with later. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the door, peering out at his boyfriend.

Rin was laying on his bed, head propped up with one arm while the other was holding up a book. Nitori swallowed and padded over to him, sitting in the empty space of the bed. Looking up, Rin closed his book and laid it to the side. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Nitori smiled, feeling like his stomach was going to turn inside out. Rin was just so _attractive_ laying there in his tank top. He raised a red eyebrow like he always did when he was asking questions without speaking; this look was probably prompted by Nitori’s awkward staring and hesitance. To spare the conversation, Nitori leaned down and kissed his boyfriend deeply, hoping to communicate what he wanted.

Making out was uncharted territory for Nitori. He shifted on the bed to where he was laying beside Rin, half way on top of him as he kissed him again. It seemed Rin was starting to understand, as his lips started to press against Nitori’s in a different, indescribable way, a way that made Nitori’s stomach turn in a way that wasn’t from nervousness. 

Rin’s hands moved to Nitori’s waist, touching him as their lips experimentally pushed for more. He was surprised by the way Nitori was kissing him so suddenly. He felt like he should question it, but he really didn’t want to stop. Nitori was definitely lacking in experience, but that didn’t mean that Rin wasn’t slowly getting aroused by the way his lips were hungrily attacking his, or by the way Nitori’s hands were holding his face, fingertips in his hair.

Deciding to get a little more brave, Nitori opened his mouth, which was instantly reciprocated by Rin. Nitori had only ever heard of what making out with someone was like, but he didn’t know it would be quite like that. When their tongues first touched, he felt the urge to pull away from the strange sensation. He continued, though, starting to enjoy the way their tongues would reach for each other’s. Rin’s teeth were sharp against his tongue, but in some way it felt good. Before he knew it, Nitori felt hot with a very specific heat churning in his gut. It didn’t help that Rin’s hands were on his lower back, itching to dive under his t-shirt.

Rin managed to pull in Nitori’s lip, lightly running his teeth over it before pushing his tongue in once more. Nitori almost moaned.

When Rin made out in the past, his pants, or at least his shirt, would have already been off at that point. However, now he was letting Nitori set the pace, driving him crazy in the process. He knew he was hard, and he knew if Nitori happened to glance down he would definitely see it bulging in his loose pants. As his hands slid up Nitori’s back an inch, Rin wondered in the back of his mind if Nitori was hard too.

After kissing for a few moments longer, they parted breathlessly. They were connected by an erotic string of saliva for a second, and Nitori was suddenly hyper-aware of his heartbeat. He was also suddenly aware of his own erection. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted more. He wanted to feel Rin. He just didn’t know how to tell him.

Rin thought he could bust a nut just looking at Nitori’s flushed face, pink lips parted as he caught his breath. He brought a hand up to caress Nitori’s face, “Um,” He started, voice thick. “I don’t want to push but… Do you want to continue?” 

That was Rin, the Rin that emerged after all the layers had been melted away. This was the Rin that Nitori had loved the whole time, the one who genuinely cared about him. “Y-yes,” Nitori breathed, blushing. Rin kissed him eagerly, and adjusted their position. He coaxed Nitori on his back, head resting on the pillow. Nitori held his breath when he saw Rin’s erection through his pants, and then felt embarrassed when he looked down at himself and noticed he was in a similar position. He didn’t have time to dwell on it though, as Rin situated himself between his legs. The pressure of Rin’s weight against his groin felt good, but soon it wasn’t enough.

Rin’s hands were up Nitori’s shirt, exploring his chest, touching him in ways he’d never been touched. Rin suddenly found himself feeling happy that would be Nitori’s first, assuming they would have sex eventually. He wanted to make it as good as possible for him, he thought as he eased the t-shirt over Nitori’s head. Removing his shirt had effectively messed up Nitori’s hair, but somehow the sight of it just made Rin more aroused as he peeled off his tank top, dropping it on the floor.

Tentatively, Nitori touched Rin’s bare chest, marveling at how warm and firm it was, and loving the way he could just barely feel his heart beating. He leaned up and kissed Rin sloppily, gasping when Rin moved to kiss his neck. The kisses were wet, with just a hint of a brush of his tongue. Rin would suck for a second and nip, just enough that the skin was red but wouldn’t leave a lasting mark. It was maddening; when Rin’s teeth nipped at the sensitive spot below Nitori’s ear, a moan slipped out of his mouth. He blushed darkly, worried that his voice had sounded weird or something else unpleasant. 

In turn, Rin nipped again, wanting to hear that sound another time. He was so hot, and Nitori was just making it hotter. Rin couldn’t remember the last time he had been so turned on. He moved his head lower, taking the time to kiss Nitori’s collar bones and upper chest, leaving no place neglected. He loved feeling Nitori squirm under him. Nitori’s hands were clasped to his back, palms damp. Rin’s mouth made it to his nipples, teasing the sensitive flesh with his tongue and teeth. Much to Rin’s enjoyment, that made Nitori moan again.

Nitori’s mind was unfocused as Rin’s mouth teased his skin, lighting a fire where his lips left. When Rin’s tongue dipped into his navel, he could have sworn he died in that bed. Rin’s teeth pinched at the small muscles of Nitori’s lower stomach, tantalizing him beyond redemption. He exhaled loudly as Rin’s wet lips dragged over the bowl of his hip bones. Nitori didn’t know how much more he could take.

As if Rin read his mind, the redhead returned to Nitori’s face once more, kissing his lips briefly. “Okay, I’m just double checking you still wanna do this.” He said, looking intensely into Nitori’s eyes, gesturing down to his crotch. What ‘this’ meant, Nitori wasn’t entirely sure, but he wanted it.

“Y-yes, please, senpai.” Nitori breathed, kissing him once more.

Rin felt a wave of heat rush through him; never would he have thought being called ‘senpai’ in bed would turn him on, but here he was, boner turned to damn near solid rock because Nitori called him something he’d always called him. Rin scooted back until he was even with Nitori’s knees, hands resting on the younger’s hips. Slowly, Rin palmed Nitori’s bulge, watching as his mouth fell open in a silent moan. 

As Rin began to wiggle down Nitori’s shorts and boxers, Nitori felt shy, almost wanting to cover himself as he was exposed. Absently, he thought about how he should have shaved because he probably had uncomfortable stubble and Rin may not like that, but all logical and sense-making thoughts were blasted out of his mind as Rin’s finger’s wrapped around his aching length. Rin gave him a few tentative strokes before he lowered his head, dragging his tongue over the tip. Nitori clasped a hand over his mouth to stifle a moan.

Rin reached up with his free hand and swatted it away, “I want to hear you,” He murmured, lips barely brushing the head of Nitori’s dick. He glanced up and saw Nitori staring at him with wide eyes, cheeks flushed a hot pink. Reluctantly, Nitori’s hand left his face, choosing to curl up in a fist around the sheets like his other hand. With a grin, Rin continued. He used one hand to hold himself up, and the other to hold on to Nitori’s dick while he ran his tongue over it. When he licked over the head once more, he could faintly taste the sharp flavor of precum. Rin closed his lips around Nitori’s shaft, slowly taking him into his mouth, managing about half of it before it irritated his throat.

Nitori was having trouble keeping control of his voice, biting his lip to hold it in. The more Rin’s mouth worked, however, the harder it was becoming. The feeling of Rin’s mouth on him like that was one Nitori couldn’t have ever imagined. Soon, almost too soon, he felt the pressure start to build, and he knew he was close. “A-ah…” His back arched slightly, “Rin-s-senpai,” He moaned, attempting to warn him of his imminent ejaculation. 

Feeling Nitori’s body tense, Rin pushed on, doubling his efforts to make him cum. Early on in his sexual experience, Rin had developed a liking to swallowing; it wasn’t that he enjoyed the taste, because he really didn’t. Swallowing your partner’s load just seemed polite. 

“Ah! Mmn,” Nitori gasped. He was about to come, fingers gripping the sheets with white knuckles.  When he finally did come, he moaned loudly, head dropping back onto the pillow. His face felt numb, and his breath was completely ragged, mind in a haze. He faintly felt Rin give him one last lick before pulling away, fixing his shorts back up for him. Nitori, in all of his life, had never orgasmed that hard before.

Rin scooted up even to Nitori’s face, amused by the way his eyes were closed as he steadied his breath. Nitori was so adorable, his face still flushed. His light eyes fluttered open in a daze and he glanced at Rin, “Let me do you,” He breathed, kissing Rin on the lips. Rin’s erection had not dwindled in the time he took to take care of his boyfriend, and it was becoming uncomfortable. 

With a smile, Rin nodded, “Please.” After another moment, Nitori’s mind had mostly cleared. He sat up, kissing Rin once more, harder. He wasn’t really sure what to do besides repeat what Rin had just done to him. Awkwardly, Nitori rolled them over, adjusting to straddle Rin’s hips. He pushed his tongue into Rin’s mouth for a moment before moving to his neck.

Admittedly, being straddled by Nitori as he kissed Rin’s neck was never a position Rin ever imagined himself in. Now, he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Rin leaned his head to the side, giving more area for Nitori’s lips to roam as he rested his hands on Nitori’s butt. Rin sucked in a breath when Nitori’s lips sucked particularly hard at the base of his neck; there would definitely be at least a lasting red mark, if not a full-blown hickey. However, as Nitori’s hands rubbed over his chest, Rin found himself not caring whatsoever.

Nitori’s hands danced along Rin’s torso, leading the way for his lips. Where he moved his lips, his fingertips had been there a moment before. While he kissed at Rin’s chest, he could feel him lightly squeezing his ass and ever so slightly rutting his hips to rub his erection against Nitori’s crotch. Every time he did, little lightning bolts of arousal shot through Nitori.  Lips on Rin’s stomach, Nitori could distinctly feel Rin’s bulge under him. Nervously, he brought his hand to it, palming it through Rin’s sweatpants.

Rin sighed and closed his eyes, one hand running through Nitori’s hair.  

After months of imagining what Rin’s dick would be like, Nitori found himself hesitating to actually pull down those sweat pants and see for himself. He held his breath, looking up at Rin as he wiggled the fabric down along with his boxers. Rin opened his eyes and met Nitori’s gaze, making him blush. Rin just smiled at him dreamily, caressing Nitori’s cheek. He was assuring him, coaxing Nitori through his nerves like always. Finally, Nitori glanced down, mouth going dry at the sight of Rin’s length.

Really, it was about the same size Nitori always imagined. While erect, it leaned a little to the left, curving up toward his stomach. Rin, like most swimmers, shaved _everything,_ which was evident by the smooth, hairless skin around his length. Nitori leaned down, pressing teasing light kisses down the ‘v’ of Rin’s muscles, hand tentatively closing around his dick. He stroked it a few times before using his mouth.

Nitori followed Rin’s lead, giving him a long lick from base to tip, enjoying the sound of Rin sucking in a breath as he did. With a boost of confidence, Nitori continued stronger, closing his lips around the head and sucking gently, flicking his tongue over the slit. There was a faint, unfamiliar taste, but instinctively Nitori knew what it was. 

Rin’s hand was still in Nitori’s hair, but his eyes were closed, head leaning back on the pillow. Nitori worked slow; it wasn’t bad, though. Rin ached for more but knew that his boyfriend was taking his time. He was new to this.

After a few more minutes of Nitori handling him with his mouth, Rin tapped his shoulder, “Let’s try something.” Nitori looked up with a innocently questioning face, wiping his mouth as he crawled back up to Rin’s face. “Take off your pants?” Rin asked rather than told.

Nodding, Nitori scrambled to pull off his shorts, “O-okay.” As he dropped his shorts and boxers on the floor, Rin did the same, depositing the last of his clothes where they would be forgotten. Rin was amused to see Nitori already hard again as he beckoned him close once more. 

“Here, just,” Rin guided Nitori’s hips back to sit just below his groin, their dicks tauntingly close. Nitori gave him a questioning look, to which Rin responded with a reassuring smile. Their lips met in a kiss, Nitori’s hands planted beside Rin’s head to hold him up. As Rin pushed his tongue into Nitori’s mouth, his hand wrapped around their erections, giving them a stroke, together. 

Nitori moaned into Rin’s mouth, body igniting into flames. Rin’s hand worked them quickly, hips also jerking a little for more momentum. It was a little dry at first, but as they both began to leak a little precum, it got smoother. Their kiss broke and Nitori’s head leaned against Rin’s shoulder as he panted and moaned. In turn, Rin’s moans were let out in his ear, arousing and stimulating every part of him. 

“Rin, Rin,” Nitori moaned loudly. Rin’s hand was nearly relentless, focused on bringing them both to the brink. 

Rin came first, “Ah, fuck, Ai,” He grunted and moaned, pumping quickly as he spilled onto his stomach, hips arching involuntarily. 

Nitori was close behind, shaking, mewling in Rin’s ear as he came, “R-rin senpai, aah, ah… Mmnh,” His cum dribbled out over Rin’s hand, joining Rin’s cum on his stomach. With a few more lazy strokes, Rin let go of their spent lengths, breathless. Once he cleared his head, Rin reached down and picked up his tank top, using it to wipe away the mess. Nitori flopped to the side, head on Rin’s shoulder.

The two of them lay dreamily beside each other, matching heavy breaths and sleepy caresses. Nitori felt more awake after a few minutes, stretching his neck up to kiss Rin’s lips sweetly. “Hey, so,” He started, voice soft, cautious. Rin looked at him curiously, urging him on, “Don’t feel like you have to reciprocate or anything, um, but I just wanted to say… I love you.”

Rin’s heart suddenly jumped back to life, filling him with a warmth. He rolled over on his side, nuzzling Nitori’s hair, “I know.” He replied softly as he curved his arms around Nitori’s thin form. 

As he lay there, sleepily embracing his boyfriend, Rin felt content, complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for reading and getting this to 1,000+ hits!! It truly makes me happy to see so many people read this. 
> 
> Anyways, here's chapter 9. Chapter 10, the final chapter, is up next and it's nice and cute and sweet. (and sexy) I'll be posting it after work tonight! 
> 
> <3


	10. Chapter 10: The L Word

“Hey, Ai. Gou’s here. I’m headed out.” Rin walked over to Nitori, who was sitting at his desk, and gave him a swift peck on the lips. “I’ll be back before too long.” 

Nitori smiled at him, “Okay. Don’t let her have you for too long - I’ll start to get lonely.” He pushed out his bottom lip in a sarcastic pout, and Rin rolled his eyes.

With a ruffle of Nitori’s hair, Rin was out of the door to meet his sister outside of the school. It wasn’t often that Rin willingly spent time with his sister, but he needed her assistance. It was Saturday, and Sunday would be Rin and Nitori’s one month anniversary. Rin felt like he should do something or get something for Nitori, but he was coming up with nothing every time he tried. When he asked Gou for help, she decided they should shop around and see if they could find anything fit to give Rin’s boyfriend.

“Okay,” Gou said, a determined look in her eyes, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.” They arrived at the shopping center, Gou taking the lead.

“And?” Rin raised an eyebrow.

“How do you feel about matching clothes? That’s popular for couples right now.” Gou pointed in the general direction of a clothes store.

Somehow, Rin wasn’t really charmed by the idea of he and Nitori wearing cutely corresponding outfits. “Eh… Probably not. We can look anyway though.” Gou nodded enthusiastically, pulling her brother by the elbow into a store. Rin skimmed the racks, not much catching his interest. He did, because of Gou’s insistence, purchase a matching tank top for one he was getting himself. They were both gray with some red designs; Nitori would look cute in a tank top, Rin thought.

After the next few stores the siblings went in, Rin still hadn’t seen anything that would _really_ make Nitori happy. For instance, just showing up and giving him a hug makes the kid grin. Rin was looking for something even better. 

“You know, you never broke your back like this for you-know-who.” Gou said as she fished through a container of phone charms in a store. Rin frowned at her; she was talking about Haru.

He cleared his throat and crossed his arms, “I don’t know. I just feel like this is what I should do. Ai’s different. And I don't really want to talk about Haru…” He sighed. He hadn’t heard from Haru since they broke up, which was probably for the better. Gou gave him updates for the first couple weeks, but it seemed like things had returned to an equilibrium; Gou even said she thought Haru and Makoto were together. Even though things had cleared up, Rin still felt guilty about the whole ordeal.

“Have you dropped the L word yet?” Gou looked over her shoulder, abandoning the box of charms. 

Rin gaped at her but couldn’t help the light blush that rose to his cheeks. “Er, no. I… Don’t know if I do, yet.” His sister eyed him scrutinizingly, looking at him as if the real answer was written on his face. Sure, he was downright smitten with Nitori, but _love_? Rin wasn’t sure.

Thankfully, she dropped it as they moved on to another store. Still, nothing really jumped out to Rin, and he was beginning to get frustrated.  “Forget it. I don’t think I’m going to find- wait.” Rin stopped, nearly making Gou bump into him. A few yards in front of them stood a claw machine filled with various stuffed animals. Rin made a beeline to it, eyes glancing through it to see what it had to offer. “Perfect.” He muttered under his breath when his eyes found a rather large shark stuffed animal.

Gou was looking at him skeptically, “You think he’d like this?” Rin just nodded, digging out some coins from his pockets. Admittedly, Rin wasn’t the best at claw machines, but that didn’t stop him from trying for almost half an hour.

Finally, Gou got tired of waiting, “Let me try.” She sighed, pushing Rin out of the way. He pouted and watched as she got it on the first try. His mouth fell open as she pulled the shark out of the machine. “Here, doofus.” Rin took it from her with a frown and a grumbled thank you. 

The two decided they’d shopped enough, and Rin walked with Gou to the train station where she would get on one to go home. Rin, in turn, walked the rest of the way to Samezuka, shark under one arm and the bag with the tank tops in the other hand. He hoped Nitori would like the shark, he thought, glancing down at it. It was a generic shark with gray and white coloring, little felt teeth sticking out of it’s mouth. It was soft for a claw machine toy, too.

He got a few stares as he walked onto the school grounds with it under his arm, but he didn’t mind them. Rin was too focused on getting back to Nitori in their room.

Nitori, meanwhile, had fallen asleep on their bed, deciding to nap while he waited for his boyfriend’s return. He stirred when he felt a hand jostle his shoulder, “Mm… Rin-senpai?” He mumbled sleepily, eyes still closed.

“Yeah, it’s me. Wake up.” Rin’s voice was smooth in Nitori’s ears. With a yawn, Nitori sat up and rubbed his face, blinking a few times.

He smiled at Rin, “I missed you.” Rin looked a little uncomfortable. “How was hanging out with your sister?” 

Rin shrugged, “Eh, fine. I have something for you. Close your eyes.” He looked like he was holding in one of his big dorky grins as Nitori’s eyes closed. 

“You got me something? You shouldn’t have- I don’t need anythi- Huh?” Nitori felt something soft be set on his lap. “Can I open my eyes?” He asked, blindly touching the mystery thing in his lap.

“Oh, yeah,” Rin told him, sounding anxious. Nitori opened his eyes, seeing that the mysterious thing was actually an adorable shark plushie. “Happy one month anniversary,” Rin told him softly.

Nitori was speechless as he looked from the shark in his lap to his boyfriend in front of him. He never expected Rin to be into the silly romantic stuff like this, but here he was giving Nitori a gift to celebrate being together for thirty days. Nitori floundered for words as a couple tears filled his eyes, one slipping down his cheek.

Rin noticed and panicked, “Hey- Are you okay? You’re crying!?” He sat down on the bed and reached over to wipe Nitori’s face as the boy laughed.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Nitori waved him off as he laughed again, “That just made me really happy, that’s all. I wasn’t expecting this… at all.” He regained control of his tear ducts and laughed again, this time Rin lightly laughing too. Nitori leaned over and hugged Rin tightly, “Thank you.” He kissed Rin’s cheek and rubbed their noses together. Rin rubbed his back lovingly.

As Rin held Nitori, his heart pounded away in his chest, ferociously pushing the blood through his veins. He squeezed his boyfriend a little tighter, nuzzling his shoulder as a feeling of realization rolled over him. Suddenly there was only one thing running through his mind. He felt terrified, but also extremely happy. He felt his throat go tight. “Ai.”

Nitori leaned away to look at Rin’s face, “Rin?” Rin averted eye contact, seeming to be blushing. “Rin, what is it?”

Rin’s throat got impossibly tight, fists clutching Nitori’s shirt. He could feel his eyes betraying him as they got glassy and wet. “I love you,” he breathed, and Nitori went still.

“What?”

“I said- I said I love you!” Rin said louder, sniffling. He cursed his eyes and his tear ducts and the evolutionary ability to cry as he held in the tear that was threatening to fall from his eye.

Nitori stared at him wide-eyed as a smile spread onto his face, “I love you too!” He reached up to hold Rin’s face, finally meeting his eyes. “Now you’re crying, senpai!” He giggled and kissed Rin passionately before he could grumble about being caught. Seeing Rin fumbling with his overflowing emotions was a sweet sight, even if he would curse himself for it. Nitori had only ever dreamed of hearing those words spill from Rin’s lips, and to hear them in real life made the tears return to his own eyes.

“Now you’re crying again!” Rin pointed out accusingly, sniffling a little. Nitori just laughed and wiped an eye, playfully pushing on Rin’s chest.

“It’s all your fault!” Nitori laughed, putting his arms around Rin’s shoulders.

Rin shook his head with a light laugh, “Nope. It’s definitely your fault. If you weren’t so lovable I would not be crying like a big loser right now.”

Nitori gave him a faked insulted look, “You just called my boyfriend a loser! You’ll have to pay for that.” He smiled playfully.

“Oh no,” Rin mock-lamented back. Nitori assaulted his face with kisses, smooching him all over his cheeks, nose, chin, and forehead, giggling as he did. They tumbled over, Rin laying on his back as Nitori continued to kiss him, the shark pushed off to the side. Their lips met again, this time pressing for longer, suddenly changing the mood. Nitori’s hands cradled Rin’s cheeks and he opened his mouth, pushing out his tongue, reaching for Rin’s. Their tongues sloppily pushed around each other’s, making wet sounds fill the air with their breaths. Rin’s hands came to rest just above Nitori’s ass. 

Rin’s lips moved to Nitori’s neck, slathering wet kisses all over it. Nitori returned the favor after a moment, one hand rubbing Rin’s firm chest. They breathlessly gazed into each other’s eyes, communicating a thousands words that they didn’t know how to form with their mouths.

As Nitori stared, he started to blush, heart racing. “Rin-senpai… I… I want to do it.” He said quietly, one hand toying with a lock of red hair.

“Do it? Oh- _oh,_ it.” Rin’s eyes went wide and his mouth dry. “Oh. Okay.” He was excited to have sex with Nitori, but also terrified. “Okay, one sec,” He gently got off the bed, going to his desk and digging through his drawers. He could have sworn he had a bottle of lube stashed away in his room somewhere. Not finding it in his desk, Rin dashed to the bathroom to look in there, still not finding it. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath, thinking of where he could have hidden it. Then he remembered it was in his bag, and he fished the small bottle out of a hidden pocket. Nitori was watching him curiously the whole time, now laying on his back. “I figured I should find the lube now instead of, uh, later.” Rin explained, laying it beside Nitori on the bed as he straddled him.

Nitori’s stomach flitted nervously as their lips met again. Having sex was his idea, but he still felt a little anxious about it, and it seemed like Rin was too. Soon though, the worry was forgotten, wiped away by the feeling of Rin’s teeth grazing his skin, making goosebumps rise on his arms. Rin’s hands snuck up Nitori’s t-shirt, fingers teasing the tender skin as he slowly worked the fabric up. Rin managed to get off Nitori’s shirt smoothly, dropping it on the floor with a confident smirk that made Nitori’s stomach turn, and not because of nerves this time. 

Rin was trying to look levelheaded as he undressed Nitori, but it was a bit difficult with the way his hands kept trying to shake. He didn’t know what was wrong with him; it wasn’t like Rin had never had sex before. Though, this was different. This was sex with Nitori, someone that Rin _loved._ Rin’s lips pressed light kisses over Nitori’s chest as he scooted back to remove Nitori’s shorts. He wiggled them off, leaving Nitori’s navy blue boxer-briefs this time. He could see the general shape of Nitori’s erection, pushing at the fabric. The sight sent a rush of arousal through Rin, giving him some needed confidence. Then Rin took off his shirt and jeans, leaving him his own dark red boxers.

Looking up at Nitori’s blue eyes, Rin’s heart skipped a beat, “Okay, you’re sure?” He asked softly, hands creeping to Nitori’s hips. He nodded rapidly, blushing darkly. Rin leaned down, pinching the elastic hem of Nitori’s underwear between his teeth. His plan to take them off sexily with just his mouth somewhat failed as he ended up using his hands anyways. Once the boxer-briefs were on the ground, Rin gave Nitori’s flushed length a few strokes, earning a soft gasp from his lover. “You know how this goes right…? Or… Do I need to explain it?” Rin asked, picking up the lube with his free hand.

Nitori turned his head, blushing, “N-No, I know.” He said softly, he seemed nervous, or scared. Rin paused, putting the lube back down, kissing Nitori’s cheek, just below that adorable little mole of his.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.” Rin whispered softly, lightly caressing Nitori’s face. Nitori smiled back at him lovingly.

“I know, senpai.” Nitori kissed Rin’s nose as he blushed. Here he was again, getting hot and bothered by being called ‘senpai.’ 

Rin leaned back again, picking up the bottle and flicking the lid open with his thumb. Nitori spread his legs apart and Rin settled in between them, after he quickly shucked off his boxers. With his empty hand, he took a few fingers dry to rub Nitori’s hole, to get him used to the feeling.

Holding his breath, Nitori couldn’t help but blush. It felt a little strange to be touched _there,_ but it was also so arousing the way Rin’s fingertips gently massaged in a little circle. After a moment, Rin’s hand pulled away, and Nitori watched as he dripped a small amount of lube onto two of his fingers, getting them slick but not sopping wet. Rin’s cold fingers returned to the hole, slowly pushing his index finger in. 

Nitori gasped, and Rin froze, “Are you okay?” He asked anxiously.

“Y-yes! Yes, I’m fine. It’s just… A weird, ah, feeling.” Nitori replied. Rin relaxed and pushed on, inching the second finger in, stretching Nitori the best he could. After a moment, he withdrew his fingers and added more lube, pushing them back in with more ease than before. He was being thorough, even adding a third finger. Eventually, Nitori was quietly moaning from the sensation. “Rin… I-I think it’s ready.” Nitori pleaded softly, embarrassment evident in his voice.

Rin leaned forward and kissed Nitori’s red lips, “I just want to make sure it doesn’t hurt.” He said, spreading his fingers inside Nitori’s ass.

“Ah, I’m okay. Just… I’ll tell you if it hurts.” Nitori’s head leaned back, and Rin knew he was ready. He pulled back his fingers and squeezed some more lube into his palm, rubbing it on his surprisingly hard length. He expected with how nervous he was that it would have totally softened, but Rin was wrong. The lube was cold, but he didn’t care. Rin wiped his hand on his sheets and angled himself with Nitori’s hips, heartbeat in his ears.  
“Okay,” He leaned over Nitori, their foreheads a few inches apart. He used one hand to guide his length as he pushed into Nitori slowly, moving even slower when he heard Nitori gasp. When he was all the way in, he paused, looking down at Nitori.

Nitori’s eyes were closed tightly, mouth hung open as he adjusted to the feeling. It didn’t hurt, much to his surprise. The stretching sensation burned a little, but the emotional aspect of it all took precedence. This was actually happening. He and Rin. Nitori’s eyes fluttered open, and he was about to say something when something dripped onto his cheek. “Rin-senpai?” His blue eyes darted upward, seeing Rin’s face turned away, but noticing that his cheeks and the tips of his ears were bright red. “Rin… Are… Are you crying?”

“No…” Rin lied, plainly and clearly. He cursed himself in his head and glanced back down at Nitori, heart melting at the completely loving look on his face. “Okay, maybe.” He grumbled, leaning down to meet Nitori’s lips. He felt Nitori’s fingers wipe his cheeks as they parted.

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone,” Nitori said teasingly, a deliciously coy smile on his face.

Rin went completely red, “You better not tell anyone! _Ever!_ ” 

Nitori laughed, which sent a strange sensation down to Rin’s dick, which reminded them of their current situation: that Rin was balls deep in Nitori’s ass. Tentatively, Rin rocked his hips back, going breathless from the feeling. Nitori made a small noise, gripping Rin’s shoulders. Soon, Rin was able to get into a rhythm of thrusting, encouraged by Nitori’s moans. Their lips met sloppily, Rin moaning into Nitori’s mouth.

“Shit,” Rin cursed under his breath, realizing he was close to the end. He tried to hold on for longer, trying to make it last for Nitori. It was no use; before he could stop himself, Rin was gasping, moaning out Nitori’s nickname as he came with a few hard thrusts. As soon as it was over, mortification rolled over him, “Shit, Ai, I didn’t mean to- It just- Dammit.” Rin hid his face with one hand, feeling Nitori silently giggle.

“It’s all right, senpai.” Rin peeked out around his hand, frowning.

“But you’re not done yet.” He pointed out, glancing down at Nitori’s perfectly erect length.

Nitori blushed, “Er… Could I try?” He asked sheepishly.

Rin raised an eyebrow, “Try what?” He drew his hips back, pulling his spent length out of Nitori with a shiver.

“Um… Topping? I guess?” Nitori blushed harder, and Rin did as well. Rin had never bottomed before, though if it was Nitori, he realized he didn’t really mind. 

“S-sure.” Rin stammered, sitting back on his heels. The sheets were a bit messy by then, a couple spots of lube and a little dribble of cum that had followed Rin’s dick out of Nitori’s ass. Carefully, they switched positions, Rin lying on his back with Nitori between his legs. He felt vulnerable with his legs spread like that, but Rin trusted Nitori to be gentle.

Nitori felt confident as he picked up the bottle of lube. If he did exactly what Rin did, it should go fine. He followed the first steps, rubbing him with a dry hand and then pushing in a lubed finger. Rin’s cheeks never stopped blushing, but eventually Nitori’s fingers made a moan fall from his lips. Nitori decided to use his other hand to give Rin’s length a few strokes, encouraging it to harden again. Once Nitori had three fingers in, he carefully pushed them in and out. “Senpai, how does it feel?” Nitori asked, stretching his fingers apart.

Rin looked scandalized, “D-don’t ask things like that, dummy!”

“No, no!! I mean, do you think that’s enough?” Nitori asked, making a meaningful glance down to his hands.  


“Oh, yeah. I think we’re good.” Rin mumbled, glancing to the side. He was nervous, worried that it would hurt. He’d always been told it would hurt, and even Haru had said there had been some mild pain.

Nitori nodded and removed his fingers, picking up his shirt and wiping them on it after he rubbed some lube on his own length. “O-okay, I’m doing it.” Nitori said, almost in disbelief. Angling himself, he pushed his hips to Rin’s, dick sliding inside slowly.

Rin closed his eyes, bracing himself.  Though, the pain never came. It was uncomfortable, a bit like stretching a muscle almost too far, but not painful. He exhaled noisily, looking up at Nitori. He looked like he was concentrating, staring down where their bodies met. “Don’t just stare- do something!” Rin pouted, slightly lifting his knees closer to his chest.

“Sorry!” Nitori blurted, hands moving down to anchor himself on Rin’s hips. He gave one testing thrust, overwhelmed with the feeling. He leaned down close, arms propping himself up as he leaned his head on Rin’s shoulder. His hips started to move faster, moaning at the sensation. Rin’s sounds in his ear only encouraged him as he fucked him. With one hand, Nitori started to pump Rin’s length, hoping to finish them both at the same time. “Ah, ah… Rin,” Nitori moaned as his hips moved more frantically, wanting more and more of the feeling before it was over.

As Nitori’s hips crashed against his, Rin was overcome with a whole new set of feelings. Nitori pivoted his hips, thrusting in at a different angle, shooting an unprecedented wave of ecstasy through him. He moaned loudly, clutching Nitori’s back, “Sh-shit, there,” He managed, and Nitori did his best to rub that spot as he thrusted.

“S-senpai,” Nitori moaned, “I’m not going to, ah, last much longer.” He was surprised he’d lasted that long, even.

“Me either,” Rin replied breathlessly. Nitori trusted harder, still trying to pump Rin’s length as he did. Before Nitori could say anything else, he was coming. He froze, balls deep as he came, moaning Rin’s name, legs trembling. Rin’s hand took over, finishing himself moments after, cum shooting out over his stomach. He moaned and arched his back, clenching around Nitori’s dick.

Nitori wilted on top of Rin, arms and legs completely weakened as he caught his breath. He didn’t even mind that his stomach somewhat stuck to Rin’s. “I love you,” Nitori whispered, pulling out. 

“I love you too.” Rin sighed contentedly as Nitori slowly rolled off of him. Once his mind was clearer, Rin realized the state they were in. He had cum all over his stomach, and Nitori in turn had a thin line of cum dripping down his inner thigh. “We need to shower.” He pointed out.

Nodding, Nitori also noticed how messy they’d become. “Just hold on a minute.” He nuzzled Rin’s shoulder sweetly, a hand resting on his firm, albeit sweaty, chest. They were silent, basking in the aftermath, hearing nothing but their heavy breaths. After a few more minutes, they finally got up.

“Ow,” Nitori mumbled as he moved. It felt like he’d pulled a muscle, only in his ass. “Are you sore too?” He asked as Rin moved.

“Mm… Just barely.” Rin admitted, wiping off his stomach with his shirt. Nitori stood up, grimacing at the sensation of fluid dripping down his leg. 

“Okay, I’m going to the shower.” Nitori told Rin, stiffly walking into the small room, turning the shower knobs. Rin was quick to join him. Nitori caught a glance of themselves in the mirror and blushed; they definitely looked like they just fucked. Nitori’s hair was all sorts of disheveled, a few single strands sticking to his forehead from sweat. His body was flushed all over, and Rin was in a similar condition. It was really rather amusing.

They showered together quickly, too tired for anything more than that. As they dried off, Nitori picked up a smaller towel and reached up to rub it through Rin’s hair sweetly. Rin blushed but said nothing as he fixed his towel around his waist. When Nitori was done, Rin kissed him tenderly. “I love you.” He said softly, pulling the younger boy into a hug. “I love you.” He said again.

Nitori hugged him tightly, “I’m so happy you do. I love you too, Rin-senpai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this story! And especially to everyone who left me such nice comments <3 I really appreciate it, and since I've had a rough week, they've really made me smile <3
> 
> Also, I hope y'all love cry baby Rin as much as i do.....
> 
> <3


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